Archived Story

Will you get outside your box today?

Published 12:02am Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The famous words of Robert Fulghum that started in a book and found their way to countless schoolroom posters come to a close with a simple point.

“And it is still true, no matter how old you are — when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.”

Fulghum’s message was part of his book, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten,” and his words represent the way many of us approach life.

Except for a few loners in the world, most of us survive childhood, teen years and adulthood by clinging to those we know.

Family, friends or co-workers that surround us build a barrier of protection from the big, nasty world, and, for too many of us, from people we don’t understand.

I guess I was a bit shocked by the results of our totally unscientific online poll Tuesday, even though I know I shouldn’t have been.

When we posted the question Monday, I assumed the results would reflect a few conscience-padding lies.

I still expect that some voters lied when they answered, which makes the results a bit more disturbing.

The question — Do you seek to learn about people who aren’t like you? — was spurred from our staff editorial which was in response to the words of the Rev. Neddie Winters of Mission Mississippi.

Winters spoke at Christian Hope Baptist Church Sunday, spreading his message of slow, but steady, racial reconciliation.

The response of our online readership leads me to a realization I’m sure I knew deep down before Tuesday but that is still no less disturbing.

The majority of our readers openly admitted that, “no,” they don’t seek to learn about those who are different.

And I figure at least 5 percent of the voters who said “yes,” were merely lying to themselves.

Most of us know we don’t seek to learn as much about others as we should. Most of us admit we are happy to stay in our circle of contacts without broadening our horizons.

Most of us really never did learn much beyond those kindergarten lessons; since, even though we know better, we do nothing about it.

It’s not difficult, even in a small city such as Natchez, to daily seek to learn something about a co-worker or neighbor who you may consider totally different from yourself. A few simple questions delivered with a smile — not a cynical tone of voice — would likely open doors to a new world.

Just like the kindergartners who learn that that giving that funny looking green cupcake a try is well worth it, adults who approach life willing to learn about those they don’t understand often uncover greatness.

Fulghum was correct. It’s best to stick together in this life. But it’s up to us to define how big and diverse our circle of togetherness really is.

For most of us, that circle lacks color, shape, taste and opinions. For most of us, that circle is simply a moving mirror.

Today, you can accept your life in a bubble or you can reach outside your circle of trust to learn just a tidbit about someone else. Add a bit more knowledge tomorrow and the next day and see where you are by the end of the week.

It’s up to you, but remember, either way, kindergartners are watching, learning and copying for eternity.

 

Julie Cooper is the managing editor of The Natchez Democrat. She can be reached at 601-445-3551 or julie.cooper@natchezdemocrat.com.

 

 

 

  • Anonymous

    What an extraodinary observation!!!  Natchez has consistantly been built on fear of the other.  Read the comments in this forum.  And so here we are; seperate, unequal and angry.  The real issue is how do we deal honestly with our past.  If you were born white, regardless of when your family got here, you had an advantage.  If you were born the descendents of slaves, you were at a disadvantage.  If you think the past is not a reflection of the present and the future, I encourage you to take into consideration the words of one of our favorite sons, William Faulkner; ” The past isn’t dead, it isn’t even the past”.   

  • Anonymous

    Yep.  And in today’s world, if you are classified as the majority (even though you’re actually the minority in your area), you don’t have the advantage of getting those minority set asides.  If you’re of European ancestry, no one pays your heritage any respect by putting the word European in front of American.  If you think the present is not a reflection of the future, I encourage you to take your head out of the sand.

  • Anonymous

    Are all the students in public school making A’s in American History?

  • Anonymous

    “The majority of our readers openly admitted that, “no,” they don’t seek to learn about those who are different.”

    I found that surprising as well.  I suspect to was due to the way the question was framed.  I’d imagine that asking “Do you seek to learn about x”, no matter the subject, would get similar results.  For the record, I responded “yes”.

    “It’s not difficult, even in a small city such as Natchez, to daily seek
    to learn something about a co-worker or neighbor who you may consider
    totally different from yourself.”

    And people have been doing it since forever.  I’m a bit taken back by what is nothing more than a prejudiced and quite honestly, insulting, assumption that people haere have worked and lived together for generations yet know nothing of one another.  I contend that assertion on which this piece was written and the way this discussion has been framed is totally false.

    Why is it so difficult to understand that sometimes knowing is actually worse than not knowing?  As I stated yesterday, any issues I have with other races is precisely because of what I do know.  I seek to learn about others unlike me because it assists me in making sound decisions.  I’ve had Puerto Rican neighbors, Jewish neighbors, Filipino neighbors, black neighbors, Pakistani neighbors, and Hindu neighbors.  I interacted with, and learned about them all.  They are not all equal in my eyes by a long shot.  Not because of what I don”t know but because of what I do.

  • Anonymous

    …only in attendance at breakfast and lunch…

  • Anonymous

    You’re wrong. No one is born with an “advantage” or “disadvantage” simply because of race. That whole idea only serves to perpetuate racism; both ways. You’re simply born as an American…no hyphenated prefix. Get over the whole white/black issue…it does not exist in today’s world except in the minds of those that perpetuate this “rub” to meet the goals of their own agenda.

  • Anonymous

  • Anonymous

    No, racism is still with us today.  Case in point, our president is as white as he is black, but he was portrayed as a black man as though that was a negative.  In the 2000 South Carolina primary, the McCain’s had adopted a child of Indian heritage and Karl Rove’s machine put out robo calls to ask people if their vote would be influenced if they knew that John McCain had a love child with a black prostitute.  In South Carolina 6 weeks ago, Newt Gingrich made racist comments because he knew it would fire up his base.  If one believes that after 300 years of slavery and 100 years of Jim Crow that SHAZZAM we’re all on the same level playing field, then that person is mistaken.  African Americans have been forcibly held down politically, educationally, economically and socially, and white Americans benifitted from the lack of competetion.  I remember when Medger Evers was assassinated.  I remember when Jitney Jungle was fire bombed.  I remember when MLK was assassinated.  I remember the riots in Natchez after that.  I remember when Wharlest Jackson was murdered.  I remember the bomb threats at Montebello elementary school because it was a polling place.  All because African Americans simply wanted a shot at stepping up to the plate.  This isn’t a single snapshot of history, but an evolving process.  Bottom line; Natchez has always had two parallel societies that operate independently of each other.  Seperate schools, seperate churchs, seperate social groups and on and on.  Until that changes, we’ll still be mired in this silliness.  The entire focus of the article explains it best; no one cares about  anyone that’s not like them.

  • Anonymous

    “No, racism is still with us today.  Case in point, our president is as
    white as he is black, but he was portrayed as a black man as though that
    was a negative.”

    I beg your pardon.  If there is any racism present in our president’s mixed heritage it is that his white half has been marginalized into nonexistence.  His followers don’t call him the first mixed-race president, they call the first black president.  I’ve read “Dreams of My Father”.  Have you?  He shows nothing but contempt for his white half.   It is those of us who then point out his white half that get called racists.  Look at famous mixed-race people.  Every single one claims the title “black” while all but ignoring their non-black halves.  You have it completely backwards.

    “In South Carolina 6 weeks ago, Newt Gingrich made racist comments…”

    He did no such thing.  He referred to Obama as the “food stamp president” because under his administration, more people are on food stamps than ever before in history.   That fact hurts so Newt must be called a racist as to distract from the actual point at hand.  He said something negative about The First Black President so he MUST be racist.  It is those blatantly dishonest claims of racism that help keep the division alive.

    “The entire focus of the article explains it best; no one cares about  anyone that’s not like them.”

    And the article is wrong.  If I didn’t care, I’d keep quiet as you murdered each other into non-existence.  Yet when I speak out against that violence and the culture that begets it, what am I called?  Racist.  When we speak out about the causes of poverty, illiteracy and crime we get called racists.  At every turn, if a white person tries to interject themselves in matters of “the community”, we are generally and quite soundly encouraged to go fornicate with ourselves.

    Here’s a little tidbit for you.  I’m a hard-working, crime-free, non-violent, intelligent, concerned human being.  Why the heck would I want to socialize with anyone unlike me?  I’m sorry, but some people, some cultures ARE just better than others.  As I said in an earlier post, I study those with different cultures than mine.  Some are compatible with my morals and values while some are not.  I have no intention in making concessions for those cultures who are not. 

  • Anonymous

    Newt Gingrich said “the BLACK community should be demanding paychecks not food stamps”  He could have said the poor or the impoverished but he didn’t.  He was race baiting to his base.  I have no doubt you are a fine person, but we cannot simply pretend the past is that distant and has no bearing on today. I depore lynchings and black on black violence.  I deplore an Entitlement Society whether it’s welfare queens or corporate welfare.  I deplore the fact that European Americans maintained chattle slavery for 300 years and Jim Crow for 100.  I deplore the fact that too many African Americans haven’t taken full advantage of21st century opportunites. 

  • Anonymous

    We should consider these issues; how did we get here, is this where we want to be, and how do we change the direction for the betterment of our entire community, not whose to blame.  The real question that the author of the article should ask is this; are we willing to both understand the pain those that came before us inflicted, and forgive those that cannot control the actions of their ancestors and how our collective history affects us as a whole and individually?  Can we have an open and honest conversation about the things that divide us and work together? 

  • Anonymous

    Then PLEASE, quit referring to yourself as “a race” and me as “a color”.  I found the last census form insulting.  Had to put race down as “other” because the form only gave me the option of a color.   European American was nowhere to be found.  Please do me a favor:  write the Census Bureau and see if you can’t get the next form corrected.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t recall the last census form listing Asian as yellow, Hispanic as brown, or American Indian as red???????????

  • http://www.natchezdemocrat.com khakirat

    There will always be racism when one race try to force issues on another and there is no known for the denominator to ever square this out??!! Moses parted the Red Sea after a exudus of Egypt  and the ones leaving wasn’t all black  and this was slavery for centuries??!! People need to respect each other no matter what color but my King James Bible says nothing of being social!!

  • Anonymous

    It would be too good to ask for if the census form had simply,”American” or “Not American” as the choices.

  • Anonymous

    Exactly, if politicians and “more-equal-than-you” groups would grow a backbone and eliminate any and all references to race other than identification purposes (i.e. drivers license, police reports, etc)…then perhaps this would serve to kick the “stool” out from under the likes of Jessie Jackson, Al Sharpton and other race-baiting activists who serve only one purpose…lining their own pockets

  • Anonymous

     Yes, seems very Rational.

  • Anonymous

    Bad idea, we wouldn’t know when the minority becomes the majority and the rules put in place to protect minorities begin to protect the new minorities!

  • http://www.natchezdemocrat.com khakirat

    Looks like the Latinos are the new minorities but with the new Ms. immigration law this may change??!!

  • Anonymous

     When you dump the term AAmerican, then YES.

  • Anonymous

    The Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, Dred Scott, laws outlawing teaching slaves to read, the Civil War, The Civil Rights Cases of 1883, Plessey v. Ferguson, Sweatt v. Painter, The Dixiecrats, Bull Conner, Segregation, George Wallace, James Meredith, Ross Barnett, the Tuskeegee Syphilis experiments, Loving v. Virginia, Nixon’s Southern Strategy, Colored drinking fountains and entrances, colored sections of the bus, and on and on and on.  Every one of these examples are goverment attempts to limit decendants of Africans’ freedom.  They are not ancient history and they are still with us today.  They were codified LAWS that held people down and gave others opportunities that were unfair.  It’s irrational that after 400 years of repression based on color and ancestry, anyone would not recognize that there is a reason to acknowledge the role color has played in getting us where we are today. 

  • Anonymous

    Yea, I just took an on-line survey after a purchase.  Option for “Race”:  White.  Or Black/AF. American.  I stopped right there.  White has never been a race, neither has Black.  The NAACP apparently even recognizes that. 

    Do you use the phrase Latino American ?  Doubtful.  European American?  Never.  Yet you insist on “open conversation” on race, but use a segregationist term to refer to yourself.  Oh, the irony.

    Dump AA (or show the same respect to others that you want), THEN let’s have that chat.

  • Anonymous

    I never used any racial term to refer to myself.  If you are wondering why race or color is a big deal, it’s because white European Americans made it a big deal. They used it to enslave millions of people.  Up until the ’70′s, the terms for people of color were at best derogatory and at worst full of hate.  Furthermore, I don’t have the power or influence to control surveys or the census.  If I had that power, I would certainly use it for something more useful.  If the basis for for maintaining a social, legal and economic reality that favors one group over another, failing to recognize the damage our past has done and continuing a seperate but unequal society is because of a non-threating label, then you’re late to the dance.  You should have fought that fight 400 years ago.      

  • Anonymous

     Then you should check out the way MLK refers to his own race in the I Have A Dream speech.  It might enlighten you.  The term AA segregates blacks from other people.

    Did it ever occur to you that there are people from other races/cultures/continents that are both proud of their heritage AND the fact that they are American, or is that reserved just for blacks?

  • Anonymous

    African Americans had their history stolen from them.  For centuries African Americans were enslaved then through Jim Crow, repressed.  That didn’t happen to white Euopean Americans.  The 1/32 rule ensured that African Americans would be held down.  I encourage everyone to be proud of the positive aspects of their history.  African Americans don’t have the option to know their history, therefore the term is used to acknowledge their unique heritage.  This is a red herring and getting hung up on it is a distraction.  Good day.  

  • Anonymous

     Just as I thought.  Let’s all “heal”, yet it’s all about your ancestors. You show zero regard for those who you say you want to have an “open” discussion.  MLK had no problem with it, so why should you?  You calling the NAACP to get them to change their name, or do you just want it both ways?

  • Anonymous

    The NAACP was founded by white men who used the vernacular of the day.  Quite frankly, I don’t care for the term “colored people”  but it is part of their identity.  I am at a loss to understand how white  families suffered under slavery and Jim Crow except that in areas where there was slavery, the wages were driven down for those that were not slaves.  The majority of white southerners could and should have demanded an end to slavery and Jim Crow, but didn’t.  Again it is an example of people acting against their own self interest out of fear and hate.  I don’t think any white European American could possibly reason that chattel slavery and Jim Crow had a harder impact on them than black African Americans.     

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