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What is this?
Baby's memories left to parents
Published Friday, October 9, 2009
The sound came from way down low — from deep inside the gut.
It bubbled up unexpectedly.
Gibson had played with toys before. He had batted at his hanging fish, looked at himself in a mirror, pushed buttons on his music box.
Yet there was something about the spinning Eeyore that lit up our four-month-old’s face and caused this joyous, guttural laugh to burst from his lips.
The whole world seemed to stop for a split-second. His mother, grandmother and father stared in awe with that “do it again” look.
And he did.
It was Gibson’s first real belly laugh — the first of many more firsts to come. Each one will be as joyous as the one before, and yet will be tinged with bittersweetness.
As much as I wish he could, Gibson will not remember any of the things he has experienced with his mother and me since he was born in June.
In the past few days, our son seems to have transitioned into a new phase of his life. No longer a newborn, his life is consumed with experimentation. He loves to touch and taste almost every object with which he comes in contact.
This curious kid is banking a constant stream of data. And even though he still relies on his parents to hold him up and carry him around, you can already see signs that he wants to broaden his boundaries.
He now looks out windows and doors with wonderment as to what is on the other side.
In the coming months we will help him taste solid food for the first time, say his first words and take his first steps.
Amazingly he will remember none of this. For Gibson, it is just part of the 24-hour job that is being a baby.
When I try to search in my head for small traces of my memory as a kid, I end up with a few dim recollections. In fact, I have a hard time distinguishing the difference between true memories and those that are influenced by family stories and old photographs.
There are vague memories of a cat, a set of stairs, a tricycle, but not much more.
I can only rely on the stories my mother and father tell me to learn about those early days in my life.
As a teenager and young adult, I rolled my eyes as my parents told many embarrassing stories during family get-togethers.
As a new dad, I now find such stories not only valuable as a connection to my childhood but also reassuring.
I now realize that those firsts were just as much firsts for my parents as they were their tiny son.
And so it is with my wife and me. Gibson’s first steps in life are our first steps into parenthood.
As much as we stand in awe at this little human being, I guess we should look upon our firsts as parents with equal wonder.
I try to remind myself constantly to capture impossible moments — to pick up the camera or to begin writing in a baby journal. Yet the days seem to pass by so quickly. The camera sits on the table, the journal remains empty.
Instead, my wife and I store up the memories in our heads to one day recall for Gibson the first days in his life and our firsts steps into parenthood.
Ben Hillyer is the Web editor for The Natchez Democrat. He can be reached at 601-445-3540 or by e-mail at ben.hillyer@natchezdemocrat.com.
Comments
Posted by frogprincenessntz (anonymous) on October 9, 2009 at 12:55 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Ben, instead of trying to find the time to write right now, rely on the video camera and a tape recorder. You can write a lot when life slows. With the tapes, you will have all the reminders of what it is you need to record for him to remember later.
Posted by southernbelle (anonymous) on October 9, 2009 at 6:38 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Like my daughter says,"It's pretty awesome being a parent." Keep giving us updates on Gibson. It's really nice seeing your baby through your eyes .
Posted by mrmojorisin (anonymous) on October 9, 2009 at 11:14 a.m. (Suggest removal)
I see a book in the works..........
When my last daughter was born, I became a stay at home Dad...what a great job, right? Not! I gained more respect and empathy for Moms, and wives than I thought was imaginable. Yes, it gratifying and rewarding, and all that, but it is 24/7/365...go one vacation, Mom's job simply changes locations...and cleaning up messes and toilets, vacuuming, dusting, preparing the meals, shopping, and all the time remaining ever vigilant to the where-abouts, the health, and the parenting... It is by far the hardest job I've ever done. Husbands have no idea...I didn't and I had three daughters before this one...come home from work,,,"hey, Honey...how was your day, how are the kids, what's for dinner?" he asks as he reaches into the fridge for the beer he's gonna take with him into the den, in front of the TV, in his recliner, to watch the game. There is a special place in Heaven for Mothers and Wives...did you ever wonder why Mary is revered as the Mother of Jesus, but we never hear anything about Joseph? God knows why, and he loves all us mothers.
Anyway, keep the Video Camera handy...and for more than recording that first giggle....when my daughter hit the time between 18 months and 3 years old, I thought someone had stolen my sweet little girl and replaced her with Chucky's baby sister...she was demanding, threw temper tantrums, and was basically a little demon...60% of the time..the rest of the time, if she wasn't asleep, she was my wonderful, "I Da's gur."
But there was the time when she was almost three when she was throwing one of her best fits because I couldn't drop everything and take her to the swimming pool, right now! So, she started taking her clothes off and throwing them all over the place while screaming and yelling and stomping her feet. Then when she was totally naked, she laid down in the floor, and bawled about how I didn't love her and how mean I was and what a bad Daddy I was, because Mindy's Mommy was taking her to the pool, right now!
I got it all on video....so one of these days when she's 13, 14, 15, 16, 17...and let's me have it about how bad a Dad I am...I'm gonna make her sit down and watch herself...I'm gonna show her she wasn't such a good kid either!!!
And I have plenty of them...all the way up to today...when she's arguing with her Mom about wanting to go to the football game with a 10th grader, and looking like a racoon from all the eyeshadow...I just pull out the Video...she goes back into her cave..I mean, room.
Enjoy the good times, treasure the bad times, and give them all your time...before you know it, somebody is calling you Grandpa...and they are calling long distance.
--mojo
Posted by time4change (anonymous) on October 9, 2009 at 2:45 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Good article Ben. Thanks for sharing. Why not put up some photos of lil Gibson for us viewers? Or even a video:)?
Yep, you never think you can love a child as much as you do your first born, but then another child comes along, and you find out that you can, and then another, and another. Then, there you are with 4 children in your lap asking you, which of us do you love the most? Your heart is full of love and worry for your children as they grow-up and you hope they will do good and be safe. Then one day your first grand child arrives and you wonder if you can ever love another child as much as you do your first grand child, and then another comes along, and you find that you can. The heart is amazing in how it can find love over and over again, even after it's been broken into pieces.
Posted by humorme (anonymous) on October 9, 2009 at 4:23 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Welcome to Fatherhood dude. It only gets better.
Posted by Natchezms (anonymous) on October 10, 2009 at 11:25 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Through your stories, Gibson has truly become Natchez's baby. We've all become attached to him. If it takes a village to raise a child, then Gibson has his village.
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