Posted by jammin1 (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 12:41 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I have and will call in any fight I hear or see. If others would the same It would help. But there again it starts in the home. Teach your children not to hit by example. That's how they learn it. The old redneck joke about a southern man's idea of a good time comes to mind. Go out drinking with his friends, get drunk, come home pet the dog and beat the h@## out of the ole lady for letting his breakfast get cold. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice. Yeah it is sick. I watched my Mom get beat for years by my step dad( oh my skin just crawled), until I got big enough to stop it. He was lucky I didn't shoot him, but he was not worth my soul.

Posted by Dutch (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 7:10 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I know of a man in the hospital now that had surgery yesterday to repair his broken thigh due to a woman pinning him between two trucks after a domestic dispute. No charges against the woman as yet, even though the police have been called twice before by the man for violence commited by her. If the roles were reversed, would the man be in jail, or free to do what he pleased? Does somebody have to die to alleviate the problem?

Posted by kpage (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 7:41 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I lived in a nightmare for 6 years. Only one time do I remember anyone helping when _____ would "exact his revenge". I can remember one time, being bloody and barely walking down the street. Everyone veered around me and sped on. I guess no one wanted my problem to deal with. When the police would finally come in these instances, if they even did, they told me they couldn't arrest him because he had scratches on him...scratches made from my self-defense. Oh the feeling I would experience watching the tail-lights disappear and then I would have to pay for it. This continued...everyone said I must have liked getting abused if I stayed in it...until he got imprisoned on another charge. Prison was the only alleviation I got, even after moving home to mom's. He would stalk me...oh I could go on and on. One time sticks in my mind...I was driving back to Natchez on 61 North. He spotted me, ran me through several people's yards, through the north part of town and straight to the NPD. Several officers were standing outside when I quickly drove into the circular drive. When I told them what had happened and pointed out his car driving away, they just laughed and refused to escort me to the MS river bridge. I had a broomstick and they tried to take it away from me. I said, "No. This is the only protection I have and it's not illegal". They laughed and laughed at my tears. This is only a piece of my story. These spouses or partners who are abused DO NOT want to stay...they have no choice...or FEEL they have no choice. I have no clue what the answer to this is. Just remember, follow your gut instinct when those warning signs pop up. You'll know it when it happens.

Posted by abgrantham (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 8:44 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I was in a bad marriage for 20 years. The last 10 were the worst. I went through physical, verbal, and mental abuse. I was afraid to leave because he said he would kill me, but I finally realized if I didn't leave he would kill me. I didn't want to stay with anyone because I didn't want to drag anyone else into this bad situation. I finally had to. I left him about 7 or 8 times before I finally stayed gone. I beleive he would have killed me if I had not gotten away that night. I was one of the lucky ones, he didn't kill me for leaving as he said he would.
I am now happily married to a wonderful man who would never do anything to hurt me. It feels so good to be away from all the abuse and to know you don't have to live like that.
There is help out there, don't be afraid to get it. You deserve to have a happy life and not be afraid of your every move.

Posted by mommyof3 (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 9:23 a.m. (Suggest removal)

kpage-I have an idea that I have a loved one who is being abused? They deny it. I am almost 100% certain that this is taking place. How do I find out for sure? Any advice?

Posted by Rocafella (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 9:46 a.m. (Suggest removal)

To all my ladies. I'm a male speaking on this issue. I hate that this has occured in your life. I think that from the first sign you have to put a stop to it. Too many women say oh he loves me, or it will not happen again. If you allow it once it will happen again. If you go deep into it then he will start stalking you doing other things to scare you. Stop it from the start. You'll are the blame if it continues because you let it happen. Keep your head up.

Posted by abgrantham (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 10:02 a.m. (Suggest removal)

mommyfo3, try to talk to this person about it. Let them know that they do not have to live like that and shouldn't. Let them know you will help them. Tell them don't be afraid to get out and stay out. Call the shelter for abused women also, they can surely help. Just let them know it is a better way of life than living in fear.....I know.

Rocafella, I agree that you should stop it the first time even if it means leaving, because it will happen again. I also thought he loved me.....How wrong....
I do blame myself for allowing to continue because I did not leave sooner.

Posted by Rocafella (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 10:32 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Glad that you picked up & moved on abgrantham. You know a lot of women feel they can't move on without that man, or no one else will want them. Low self esteem plays a part. You've let yourself be abused so you feel like no one else will want you. Too many men in the world to stay in an abusive relationship. I hate to say it but that may be the number 1 cause that we have so many lesbians these days. Hate to be blunt about it but they seek love in another woman because of how men treat them. I call it like I see it.

Posted by abgrantham (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 10:58 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I can't agree with that being the reason for someone being a lesbian. It never crossed my mind to find comfort in another woman. I knew there had to be plenty of good, non-abusive men out there, and I found one. And very quickly, I might add.

Posted by roberth33 (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 11:03 a.m. (Suggest removal)

OH GOOD LORD! I cannot believe my eyes!! Someone in 2007 can actually state that!!!!!?????

People don't just BECOME gay or lesbian! You are BORN that way. Period. Done. End of discussion. Zippty do dah day.

PUHLEEZE!!!!!!!!!

Posted by mommyof3 (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 11:31 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Thank you roberth33. I can't believe I just read that.

Posted by jammin1 (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 12:20 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Does anyone know if Ms. or La have the law, that if one or even both parties have visible marks, they go to jail for domestic violence? If not, then we should get on our law makers to get it. That way, the abused can't let the abuser get off. That takes it out of their hands. Then both could be sent to counseling. Education is the way to help stop this.

Posted by mamaw (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 12:26 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I can say there is always two sides.I have never had to deal with domestic violence. Except what my own daughters have been through due to some bad choices in men.Poor man in the hospital I guess he should of been thinking when he hit her and he knocked her to the ground as she held their baby girl. Then when she got in the truck to leave and he went to throw somthing thru the windsheild.DUH.. Who would not react without thinking?? Just as he did when he hit her and when he hit the baby in the back one time trying to hit the momma.No one will ever know all that went on there that night. But dont make out like he was just a angel not doing any wrong..(A case of two wrongs...two people

Posted by jammin1 (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 12:34 p.m. (Suggest removal)

All the more reason for that law.

Posted by kpage (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 1:55 p.m. (Suggest removal)

We humans are given an instinct to run when something feels wrong. Unfortunately, there are those who stay because they want to be the "special one" to change the situation. Ladies, we are not going to change these men! You can only change your priorities and he ain't on the list! I know you love him...I know you have history...I know all of these excuses...he will kill me...I will pay for this. I've said all of the above and paid anyway. I just lived to tell my story.

Mommyof3, whatever you do, don't tell her you know how she feels, unless you survived it yourself. I'm not trying to be mean, but these ladies have an issue with trusting anyone. After all, the person they supposedly love the most is hurting them. Don't push her to tell you anything. Just let her know that YOU know "something is up" and whatever it is, you will always be there. Her secret is safe with you. Give her a home to run to. And don't call anyone! Overall, be patient. I can't stress this enough. It's probably hard to do, but if you let her know you are there with lips shut, I promise you she won't forget.

Posted by destiny (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 2:43 p.m. (Suggest removal)

KPAGE, good advice. That helps more than anything and is very much appreciated by the victim. I KNOW BECAUSE I WAS ONCE THERE....ABGRANTHAM, so happy you found a good fellow, but I was always too gun-shy to try again. Not only did I lose out but some lucky gentleman missed out because of what my ex did to me. I could have been that 'good woman' to some 'good guy'.Tis a pity.

Posted by jammin1 (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 3:49 p.m. (Suggest removal)

You know what is even sadder? The very people who need to read this the most won't or don't have access to this info. They are isolated by the abuser just so they can't get any ideas about getting help.

Posted by Crazynms (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 4:02 p.m. (Suggest removal)

MOMMYOF3 talking to them will not help. My sister was being abused and I kept asking her and she kept denying it. For 5 yrs and 2 kids later. Someone finally got her to go to town and they took her by a girls house he was fooling around with. She and the kids would starve so he could eat the biggest and best of the food. He wouldn't let her get on FS either. After she left, she told us how he would abuse her and the kids. She wouldn't tell because he told her he would kill all of her family and she believed him. Anyone who is young and THINKS they find that someone who will listen and understands how they feel, can easily be brain washed and basically has been told that person loves them and nobody will ever love them.

Posted by abgrantham (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 4:10 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Thanks destiny, but you should try again. Not all men are abusive. Don't let your ex keep you from living the life that you deserve to have.

Posted by hutto2007 (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 5:08 p.m. (Suggest removal)

If it makes anyone feel better, Ive never abused my wife.....but I am a lesbian. :.D

Posted by Crazynms (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 6:16 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Did you abuse your husband?

Posted by sister_love (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 6:37 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I also can't say I have been a victim of abuse because I havn't , but my sister has been on more than one occasion , She is the person who is being spoke of, that pinned the man between the vehicles.I guess when he comes home mest up and drunk, ect. begins beating my sister (while she has THEIR child in her arms), in the process of beating my sister , hits HIS OWN child across her back!All my sister was doing was trying to get to the truck to get away and he picked up a big stone out of the yard and was about to throw it through the windshield on her and their almost 2 yr. old lil' girl , Yeah of course, she reacted in self defense ! WHO WOULDN'T ? Too bad she only got his leg ! poor,poor him ! ( THAT IS MY OPINION,I'M SURE SOME OF YOU ON HERE MAY NOT LIKE WHAT I HAD TO SAY , BUT OH WELL , DEAL WITH IT )

Posted by padlock (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 7:26 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Abuse is not a family matter it is a nationwide matter.
Families, friends, neighbors and coworkers need to get involved, of course there are no tell tell signs of abuse, and the victims don't have the courage to stand up to the abuser. This has been going on for generations at a time, and people are embarrased to admit that their loved ones actually cause them physical, emotional and verbal abuse. This is one of the reasoning behind the neighborhood watch program, if someone is or has been assaulted, it is not for only the strange people lurking in your neighborhoods selling drugs and etc. People call in hot spots all the time why not include domestic violence.
When you are passing your coworkers in the hall and they look disturbed, ask them what's going on, if your neighbor never comes outside knock on the door to see if they are OK, maybe you could help save a life, or assist them with helping them to get out.
Victims of domestic violence tend to isolate themselves along with their children, and lose the self esteem they once owned.
In phase one of abuse it starts with the name calling and the intimidation of the abuser, then comes the anger, if you look at him or her the wrong way, if you say something they don't like, or maybe you scortched dinner.
In phase two, the stikes start, and yet you are striking out, striking out on the life you once had with family and friends and now they can no longer visit with you or even call to see if you are OK. Along with phase 2 comes all the scars one could have imagined having when you got into a fight at school or just playing around as a kid not to forget that these scars where not caused by your own actions, but by the actions of someone whom is not happy with their own life and will make yours a living hell.
Last but not least Phase 3 you feel trapped, and you have no place to go because your friends and family want no parts of you, because they warned you the first time he hit you that this is the first time and it wouldn't be the last time.
Now you have lost all the things that life is made of and you have no other way out.
Well I am here to tell you, there is hope, and someone is waiting to rescue you from it all just open up and let someone in.
To the victims you have not lost your battle, stand strong and take back what is rightfully yours and that is your life and a peace of mind. It is not easy being a victim but to every problem there is a solution and it does not have to be a coffin or incarceration.
For the abusers, make every attempt to get the help you need to overcome the anger within yourself, and allow the victims men or women the right and freedom to life and choices, let them go let them leave unharmed and as I stated before the solution to this cycle is not prison or death.

Posted by abgrantham (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 8:21 p.m. (Suggest removal)

sister_love I am so glad that you are there for your sister. Please stay there for her. Try your best to talk her into staying away from him. He will not stop abusing her. I was married for 20 years and it only got worse. It will only get worse for her too. I also have 2 sister that were there for me and I am so thankful for them.

Posted by SimpleSimon (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 8:30 p.m. (Suggest removal)

For those of you that don't know the rule for domestic violence is you both go to jail and/ or pay a 1000 dollar fine. Cops do use their best judgment and sometimes even they can miss those important signs. I discovered this rule thanks to a woman who thought to use the courts to get what she wanted... me out of the house, the vehicle I was paying for her to drive, and the child support money. She tried to set me up to take a fall for domestic violence, but it backfired on her. Though I have to think the police had to think it over real hard when they walked into the living room... after she had strewn my clothes that I was packing to leave all over the place and knocked over several pieces of furniture. They gave us a stern warning after separating us to see what the problem was. End result... I left, got my vehicle back, and pay my child support every month. (Now there is an issue I could stir a stink on, but we will save that one for another time.)

Now I suppose since (1) I am a man and (2) it wasn't a true case of domestic violence then that explains why I am still heterosexual... hummm! straight by choice, but single cause I have never quiet gotten over that ache in my pocket book every time I send the check each month. ( I raise the child and she gets the spending money.)

Posted by buttercup26 (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 9:28 p.m. (Suggest removal)

what about the children that have to witness their mom or dad being beat on a daily basis for 12 yrs.. not only does the abuser 'brain-wash' the victim but they do it to the children as well.. myself along with my 3 sisters and brother got to watch daily beatings done to my mom.. and when she wasn't home or when he didn't fell like 'picking' on her he would come after me and my brother (because we where the 'step children') never has he ever laid a hand on my sisters! (thank god for that), not saying we were beat by his fist but oh did we get our butts blistered for the littlest things.. and the mental abuse was out of this world. and you know who i blamed for all of this once i got older? i blamed my mom.. to me it was her fault for keeping us in that.. to me it was her fault to run off to work and leave us with him.. i even tried to put the blame on her for my life being soo screwed up! now here it is, years later.. my mom is almost M.I.A (missing in action) leaving my 3 sisters to grow up them selves my brother has basically turned into the man that beat our mom...

talking about your stories, help and counsel more then you may think...

Posted by buttercup26 (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 9:38 p.m. (Suggest removal)

padlock: your comment.. it was good... it gave me chills...
:)

Posted by sister_love (anonymous) on October 4, 2007 at 11:28 p.m. (Suggest removal)

(abgrantham) Thanks for your comment, that is what sister's are for to be there when times get tough...I pray to GOD that she never has to deal with anyone that mest up and crazy, ever again in her life ! God Bless You !

Posted by Dutch (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 5:49 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Like ya'll said, there's two sides to every story. But sadly, most people only choose to read one of 'em.

Posted by abgrantham (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 6:51 a.m. (Suggest removal)

rattlesnake I'm not sure who you are, but if you know my husband you know he's not perfect, (but who is) but he is not abusive to me. I love him and I know he loves me. And thanks for the comment. I want to know who you are. I would love to talk to your daughter.

Posted by MissMagnolia (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 8:29 a.m. (Suggest removal)

roberth33/mommyof3: Contrary to your beliefs, some do chose to live that lifestyle because of past life's experiences. Some will tell you, just ask. I too thought that, but I was told some do it for the experience and some are born like that and then you have some that switch.
I do not live in Ntz anymore but I see a high number of young children (boys & girls) that have chosen that life style. And they start with experimentation.
I lived through domestic violence as a child until turning 12. Every weekend was an adventure. Waking up in the middle of the night hearing my mom scream, STOP; we running from the house to avoid any more beatings; sleeping in the car to avoid any embarrassment from family and friends. I know my mom was embarrassed because I was too. I could not look my best friend & neighbor in the face the next day because I know she heard what went on the night before. It was like the dirty family secret that was never talked about.
But when I got older I promised myself that I WOULD NOT live like that. You know what happened next. They say girls find men like their daddy's. Well, I did. The same behaviors of my dad. It started with the constant arguing. Well, towards the end of the relationship, he choked me and I did fight back. We were separated after that because of a family situation. But one more incident happened and the next step for me was DIVORCE because I was seeing my childhood all over again. That was my true eye opener. And I say, the LORD delivered me that day. He made me see, that this was not my true destiny. I am living a very peaceful life now.
Mothers be mindful of your actions and decisions because your children are looking and living this nightmare too.

Posted by mamaw (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 8:35 a.m. (Suggest removal)

(Dutch)You said two sides to every story..True.. We are both related to this story, Just different sides. I said (two wrongs two people.)Because she should of never moved in with him, and he should of never let her if he dident want to step up to the plate and do right. So many people in this world today put up with alot of things they should not have to, because they think there is no other choice. I will say when a person already has a "You need me, I don't need you, attitude" and they drink alcohol, It only makes things worse for everyone. I feel sorry for the kids that have to see this kind of grownup example's in life.For they are the one who suffer.

Posted by roberth33 (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 9:05 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Miss Magnolia, are you a lesbian? If not, then how can you possibly know? Yes, people do experiment. Sure.

However, a gay/lesbian person is born that way. I know hundreds of gay people and NOT ONE has ever said anything different. And yes, I speak from personal experience. I was born gay. Lots of people here in Natchez were born gay. I have been with women. But that does not make me straight.

I cannot believe I actually am having to say all this in 2007. Amazing.

Posted by roberth33 (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 9:08 a.m. (Suggest removal)

and one other thing... what is "that lifestyle"??? Paying a mortgage? Changing the oil in the car? Painting the house? Cleaning up after the dog after she's been sick all over the kitchen floor? I just thought everyone did that stuff, regardless of their sexuality.

Posted by jammin1 (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 9:16 a.m. (Suggest removal)

It can go either way with the kids. They continue the cycle or they take steps to break it. It is also true that some people, after being victims for so long they don't know how to be anything else. I know this to be true, because my mom was like that. Even after she finally got away from her abusive husband, she found another control freak. It took awhile, but she finally got away from him too. After all that ,I was taking care of her, home, food, what ever she needed, and out of the blue she turned on me. I guess if there was no one victimize her, she had to create one. I understood this and continued to love and support her right up to the day she died. She was my Mother no matter what she did or said.No she was not abusive to me as a child. this took place in her latter years.

Posted by MissMagnolia (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 9:43 a.m. (Suggest removal)

roberth33: No, I am NOT a lesbian. Never any experiences with the same sex either.
In my comment, I stated I was told. And I also stated that I thought that people were born that way myself.
But things are much different outside Ntz. You see things that you would not see in a small town.
I understand that you were born like that. Ok, I get that. Just because you were born that way does not make it the same for the next man and/or woman.
Don't sound so angry. This is my opinion, which I am entitled to in 2007.

Posted by abgrantham (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 10:32 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I don't always believe it's true that if you lived in an abusive relationship you will end up in one. Not always.
I had 2 children in mine and my daughter married a good young man that would never think of hurting her. I would kill him if he did. My son, on the other hand, is just like his sorry daddy. Both of my kids knew it was wrong and didn't like it one bit. I don't know what it is about it that makes some people do this. I now have a 5 year old son that will not have to go through this and he will not even know what domestic violence is. (Not in our home anyway)

What does domestic violence have anything to do with being gay or lesbian?

Posted by roberth33 (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 10:53 a.m. (Suggest removal)

abgrantham, someone noted in an earlier post that the reason so many women became lesbian was they were in abusive relationships with men.

Posted by kpage (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 10:57 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Being a redneck does not mean you beat your woman. Being a redneck does not mean you spit tobacco juice on the kitchen floor and sleep in the bed with the dogs. A true redneck is not an insult. Rednecks are likely to open doors for women, tip their hat in greeting, refer to ladies as "maam", cuddle kittens and puppies. I could go on and on. The only label I can put on a violent man is "idiot". Just as two girls holding hands does not make them lesbian, then a wifebeater doesn't necessarily mean they are redneck. ( I don't think I worded this properly, but you get my meaning) An abusive person is any color, any nationality, any sex. The only label you can put on them is "abuser". Remember the story of the wolf in sheep's clothing?
Also, lesbians are not "created" by abusive men. They are supposedly born this way. I don't really know, but I accept them as part of my world's society. THey experience the same life problems heterosexual people do.
Back to the violent issue, I'm sure my children will need counselling in later years, but I'm lucky they don't blame me for that terrible time. My two little ones refuse to go to his house. I don't force them to go. Their intuition is much better than mine, so I'll respect it.
Yes, I believe there are two sides to every story. I know I instigated his anger a few times, probably because he made me feel that I needed to be punished. This is a very in-depth post, but I'll close by saying his mother never helped pull him off me and she liked to say I deserved it.

Posted by firered (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 11:39 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Actually there is 3 sides to every story... her side his side and the truth!!!! I've heard both sides of the man getting pinned between two vehicles story and you know neither one is anywhere near close to each other!! But then again I heard it from outsiders not either of the two parties who were actually there! Sure would like to be updated on the events in this occurance though.. see if the stories get any closer to being the same!

Posted by destiny (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 12:10 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I feel so deeply sorry for all of you that have suffered abuse because I was once there, anyway and every way of describing abuse, mentally, physically and sexually, I lived it. ABGRANTHAM; AFTER READING SOME OF THESE POST, and after long years of loneliness for maybe the 'right mate' to come along, I still prefer to be gun-shy. My life has been filled with love for my children and grandchildren. They have in return, in their way, helped to fill that empty void. I hope all you others can find peace of mind as I have.

Posted by destiny (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 12:21 p.m. (Suggest removal)

OHHH!!! By the way do any of you know the origin of the term 'redneck'. Just a tidbit of information but very enlightening. Look it up when you have the time.

Posted by abgrantham (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 1:11 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I think that some of you may have gotten confused as to who rattlesnake was saying is a "redneck". She is talking about my husband now. He is the redneck decribed in kpage latter part of her definition, opening doors, tipping hats, saying maam, etc. He is just as country as country can be and will never change, and I don't want him to. I'm not sure of the true meaning of "redneck".
I don't really think he's a redneck, he's just my "Knight in cutoff sleeves shirt" haha and I love him.

Posted by buttercup26 (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 1:26 p.m. (Suggest removal)

well i for one LOVE A REDNECK!! true rednecks are hard working well respected, good mannered ole boys!

YEE-HAW FOR A REDNECK!!! (if i say so my self) haha!

and i agree about the children thing also.. they can either continue the cycle or break it... i would like to think i broke the cycle for my family (only been slapped once by a man and boy did I EVER DESERVE THAT ONE! ha! it's like i wouldn't leave him be till i knew exactly how far i could push him) haha!
my children will never see their mom or dad being abused!
i just wish i could say the same for my siblings and the families that they are beginning to make.... all i can do is pray and hope.. i guess...

Posted by sister_love (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 1:30 p.m. (Suggest removal)

(firered) Actually there is 4 sides to this story ...Her story , his story , THE CHICK HE BROUGHT HOME WITH HIM story and the TRUTH ! If I'm not mistaken her police report and the chick's police report were the same , so go figure ! LOL ! But there is a good side to this story , maybe if he was ever to see her again , he may not can run as fast to catch her and beat her again LOL ! Nah it's not really funny, it's actually sad cause she did'nt intentionally mean to cause him that much suffering, she was just defending herself and her baby the only way she could !

Posted by bear45 (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 9:52 p.m. (Suggest removal)

sister love you spoke the truth when you said the truth needed to be told about this story....If the truth be told the man with injury sustained the injury from the back of the leg so go figure..the break in the leg goes from the back to the front and is on the right leg if he was facing her in her vehicle the left leg would be broken and the injury would go from the front to the back..so was he really going after her with a rock in his hand, who sustained the injury from the rock? he did, because she hit him in the head with a rock

Posted by bear45 (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 9:54 p.m. (Suggest removal)

So who is guilty of domestic violence I would say both of them are, not just him.....I understand that you are related to this woman but the truth hurts some of the time doesn't it?

Posted by padlock (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 9:58 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Why is it that folks never stick to the subject.
ANYWAYS, who cares if one is lesbian or gay that is their sexual orientation only they will deal with the abomination, GOD created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
SimpleSimon I am very impressed at your comment, because what you are saying is that you were a victim of abuse, and it may not have been physically, but women try to set men up for this failure all the time, and that is why I stated that it happens to men and women.
Being a victim myself, and carrying this over into other relationships is tiresome and some people tend to not recognize the mistakes they are making for themselves and others.
You situation happens all the time and it is sad, from what you said in your comments was all you wanted to do wa leave, and your were a bigger person for wanting to leave and not making the wrong choice to land you in a dark corner.
I hope that in due time your scars will heal.

Posted by sister_love (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 11:35 p.m. (Suggest removal)

(bear45)It doesn't matter which way his leg was broken from , he "could" have turned right before she actually struck him with the vehicle , ya think ? and about her hitting him in the head with the stone..sometimes people do crazy stuff when they are scared to death , which I dunno , I wasn't there when it all went down ! And you're right , they are both wrong , cause she should have never moved in with the drunk in the first place!And YES I am her sister, and the truth does hurt, DON'T IT ?

Posted by sister_love (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 11:50 p.m. (Suggest removal)

This isn't about who is wrong and who is right...the cops were called , reports were made , and both of them are where they are , that's all that matters! This whole story was about domestic violence needing to end ...and it really does cause it's sooo sad for ANYONE , man or woman to beat on someone, it's to easy to just walk away , well unless you are not LET walk away in some cases! I am not taking up for my sister just because she is my sister..ANY woman OR man put in harms way will react in some way, it's only natural ...and until you're put in that place you never know what you will do!I personally have never been hit by a man...and if I ever get put in that position , I dunno how I would react and neither do you unless you been there, but I sure the heck wouldn't stick around for it to happen a second time...some people say they just can't leave ! THAT'S A BUNCH OF CRAP , at some point you can get away and STAY AWAY!

Posted by bear45 (anonymous) on October 5, 2007 at 11:56 p.m. (Suggest removal)

From what I understand this was not the first time the law was called about the two of them fighting or arguing and it could have happened like you said but when you are in a vehicle you get to reverse before you get to drive why didn't she just leave and avoid all that happened? Seems to me that would have been the logical thing to do.....

Posted by sister_love (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 12:05 a.m. (Suggest removal)

(bear45)I didn't mean for this to turn into an argument in no way ...I was not there that night so I'm not pointing fingers or making judgements of what happend by the injuries that were made, because I know he was hurt pretty bad , but my sister wasn't in the best of shape herself! They both got their butts beat in the situation if ya ask me!So no I'm not trying to say she was right for what she done,but neither was he ! I wasn't there , and neither were you unless you are the chick he brought home with him that night , and if you are her , then yeah you know exactly what happend !

Posted by sister_love (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 12:08 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Oh and by the way ...her other 7 yr old daughter was in the house asleep and my sister made the chick he brought home with him go inside and get her because she was to scared to go back in the house to get her herself , so you think that would have been logical for her to just leave ???

Posted by bear45 (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 12:16 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Sorry didn't know that please accept my apologies..

Posted by bear45 (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 12:19 a.m. (Suggest removal)

And no I wasn't there either, I'm just saying that everyone is bashing him and it seems as though both of them are guilty of fighting (domestic abuse) That was all I was trying to say why point the finger at only one of them when the both of them are guilty?

Posted by sister_love (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 12:36 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Yeah you are right , No fingers should be pointed unless they were there and seen what happend ! And forgive me if I sounded like I was blaming him for everything that happened that night or in the past because I wasn't, I know him and I know her , so ain't no telling what all went on ! The only thing I do blame him for , is not having the respect for her to call and say "hey , I need you to leave I wanna' bring another woman home" I know him and my sister were not "together" but still , he knew that would cause trouble because my sister had feelings for him that evidently he didn't have for her ! That would cause trouble with anyone , well I know it would for me at least LOL ! And that is his house by all means , he has the right to do whatever he wants there , but he let her move in there in the first place and he could have at least called or something..do u not agree ??

Posted by bear45 (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 12:42 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Seems to me that would have been the best thing to do, you are right about that one. Do you think that she would have left if she knew he was coming there with another woman regardless if that is his house or not? Do you honestly think she would have left? I see you are saying that they were not together what do you mean by that? Weren't they living together?

Posted by sister_love (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 12:51 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Honestly , I don't know if she would have left, because that is their "HOME" , that is where they laid their head everynight when they went to bed , so I dunno if she would have , but that would have made it right on his part to call and let her know ! And when I said they are not "together" I meant they weren't together as boyfriend and girlfriend , he let them live there because of his child I guess , I really don't get into her business , I just only hear what she tells me and what I have seen the times I have been over to visit with them !

Posted by bear45 (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 1:09 a.m. (Suggest removal)

oh okay then I hope everything works out for all involved..I don't know if I would have stayed there myself being that this was not the first incident with the law and arguing and fighting that is not good for the children involved or the adults persay..Emotional scars stay with you for a very long time and children see what is going on around them and remember those things.....Sad situation for all involved I would say....

Posted by buttercup26 (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 9:33 a.m. (Suggest removal)

lol... well i know the woman sister_love is speaking of.. and i know for a fact she would not of left, especially if she was just called and told that the man she has feelings for and lives in his house was on his way home with another female... come on now.. think about who we talking about? :) she is one stubborn woman.. i just hope they can come to some type of understanding and realize there is a baby involved..

(and before i get bashed on this.. i mean no offense to any of you.. NONE! and i'm not picking sides! i'm on my side! :)

Posted by theone333 (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 10:26 a.m. (Suggest removal)

to everyone of you outsiders on the story about the man being pinned. this is me the who did it. yes me. no i didn't do it just cause. I DID IT IN SELF DEFENSE. THIS IS THE TRUTH ON THE STORY.......... I WAS AT HOME YES MY HOME YES THE HOUSE WAS IN HIS NAME BUT HE SAID TO ME THAT THIS WAS OUR HOUSE. AND WE WE'RE HIS FAMILY. YES WE WERE TOGETHER............ FROM WHAT HE TOLD ME.. BUT NOW I KNOW HE WAS TELLING OTHERS DIFFERENT. yes we haven't been getting along to well but that's OUR business. now isn't it. he left that nite mad at me so he knew what he was doing!!!!!!!!!!!! and for those who don't know, he already that nite right before he came home was put out a bar for fighting in it. he pulled up with her. so i simply went out and asked him what the hell was he doing bring a WHORE home with him was he crazy? no i was not yelling just asked him. he said go back in the house so i did to get MY KIDS and leave. he kicked the door in behind me and came up to me telling if i called her a whore again i wouldn't have any teeth left. so i said not yelling o so now you're going to beat me for her. and thank you for showing me how you really feel about me. why would you do this while your family is here waiting on you? he said you are should be in the bed. i said so that makes it right. so i said we will go. he slammed the hall door behind me. i went in the room to get my kids. MY baby was awake so i got her to go put her in the truck, then to get my 8 year old. when i went out the whore and yes she is a whore to me cause she knew he had a family at home said to me i'm not a whore so i said if you're not a whore then why didn't you leave when you saw me come out. come on if it was me i would have left. so he came over and said i know your not calling her a whore again are you? i said this is it make your mind up now either your family goes or she does. he just stood there and yall don't know him like i do he was messed up so bad he couldn't walk straight. but that's an everyday thing. he wouldn't say anything so i turned to leave holding OUR daughter and that's when he punched me in the back of my head, so i just tried to keep walking to get out of there knowing my 8 year old was still in the house. he just kept on punching me in my head o about 13 times. and the girl he brought home said she was a mother & also knows what its like to be beat. NEVER CALLED FOR HELP EVEN FOR MY 1 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER. than he kicked me so hard in my back i fell to the ground.

Posted by theone333 (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 10:30 a.m. (Suggest removal)

o by the way my 1 year old was hit in the back while he was hitting me. when i was on the ground he began to kick me in my back & head. o about 7 times. so you can ask your self again who was wrong? then that's when she finally tried to stop him. crying please give me the baby. and yes i was saying whole TIME you are going to hurt the baby please stop don't do this and the baby was saying STOP DADDA. so i was trying to just leave. he then came after me again i make it in my truck he tried to hit me again. then he picked up a big stone went aound the front of my truck like he was going to throw it. who knows what he going to do. and no he was not hit from the back or the front he was hit from the side. i didn't give him a chance to do anything else to me or our daughter i panic and hit the gas. no i just did what i thought i had to. and no i didn't hit him in the head with the stone. i was scared to go in and get my 8 year old so i made her go in to get her so i could watch him. and yes the girl lied to me & said she didn't call the cops but she did. that was a good thing cause i was in panic mode and not sure of what i would have done. she calls herself a mother but couldn't call for help for my 1 year old but could for him. i just don't understand that. a real mother like myself would have called right away. and yes i have to give it to her. she told the truth when the cops got here. so for those who don't understand about both parties going to jail. it's for the LAW to decide on that. AND CLEARLY THEY SAW IT WAS IN SELF DEFENCE. this is the gods honest truth. i don't have any reaon to lie & i don't. one thing remeber i was the only one out of the three who hadn't been drinking or drugging. so there it is take it for what you want. beside to you outsiders this is none of your business. and yeah by the way, it's true our kids are the one who suffer. because our 1 year old daughter is so smart that all she can say now is dadda hit head hurt and holds my head. so forget my pain & he's pain. her pain is what hurts me the most. so what he has a broking leg & i have a missed up disc. she has something more painful then the both of us. that she will never forget.

Posted by theone333 (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 10:53 a.m. (Suggest removal)

and to all the outsiders be very careful how you state you words on here. because i will hate to have charges brought against you for slandering. this not a threat. this is a fact to all parties involved.

Posted by kpage (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 11:09 a.m. (Suggest removal)

theone333, I feel you sweetie. I want to cry right now. You brought back so many memories that NEED to be out in the open now. I don't blame you for what happened. People say "just leave". Well, they don't understand what these abusers do to our heads. We felt we were "less than". We just knew he would kill us or our babies. The psychology behind why we stayed is too much to get into now. I guess you have to walk a mile in our shoes to know the true story, but those who haven't experienced our nightmare shouldn't point fingers or look down on us for not leaving. It's not that easy. The shelter is full of women who stayed longer than "society" says they should. Ask them why they stayed. Most of the answers are the same. For those who put their foot down and refuse to allow an abuser to have their way...Kudos. You are stronger than I was. Abusers tend to seek out needy people and I was needy. You might have been too, theone. But we aren't today. Society, just wait until we heal from our living nightmare and watch us shine!

Posted by kpage (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 11:11 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I LOVE MY REDNECK MAN! To all ladies and men who have a redneck "significant other"....AIN'T THEY GRAND!

Posted by buttercup26 (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 11:44 a.m. (Suggest removal)

kpage!! yes they Are! very very grand!

Posted by abgrantham (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 12:48 p.m. (Suggest removal)

kpage, I totally agree that people don't understand why you don't just leave. Some women do leave right away (Thank God). But most don't. Now that I'm out of the violence, I can also ask, "why don't she just leave", but then I think about it, "hey you did the same thing." Then I wonder how I put up with it at all and I really get mad at myself. I think there needs to be more information available to women (and men) about how to get out of those bad relationships. Things like- where you can go to be safe, about childcare, about a job, but mostly being safe. They need to know that the abuser can not get to them. That is what I was afraid of the most. I usually left town and a couple times the state to get away from him so that he wouldn't find us. But, like a idiot I would let him calm down, he would cry and I'd feel sorry for HIM and I could come home again. Of course he always said it would never happen again and he just loved me so much and couldn't live without me.
Well, when I left the last time, he said he was gonna kill himself if I didn't come back and he even said he had a gun to his head and was fixing to do it. I said, "I don't want you to, but if that's what you want to do then go ahead" and I hung up the phone. Of course he didn't kill himself. I know a lot of men do kill themselves, but women need to realize it is not their fault. They way I felt about it is....better you than me!!
We stay for all kinds of crazy reasons. I know I did.

Posted by theone333 (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 12:48 p.m. (Suggest removal)

(kpage) thank you i needed that yes no one understands until they are put there. so thanks for understanding. sometimes we hate what we do and we do it for our own reasons ( right or wrong) but i guess that's WHY WE LIVE & LEARN but i promise you & all the outsiders this will be the last time that me kids will EVER see things like that again. and no this wasn't the frist time this has happen. but for the life of me it will be the last. i have been abused all my life. but not anymore. no one deserves to be beat. MALE OR FEMALE.

Posted by abgrantham (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 1 p.m. (Suggest removal)

theone333, I hope you stick to what you just said. Please don't go back. He will only get worse, I know, I lived it for 20 years. And the last 10 were the worst. I also ran over my ex one time trying to get away from him. But, I only ran over his foot and it didn't even break it (dang it)haha. I didn't drive over it on purpose, but he was trying to keep me from leaving. He did try to run over me on purpose one night. I had to hide behind trees in the yard as he drove around like a maniac trying to find me to hit me. And there were even worse things that he did to me.... I could go on and on but I won't . Just stay strong and stay away from him. Don't ever feel sorry for him, or you might end up sorry yourself.

Posted by kpage (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 1:59 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Something tells me this is part of my healing process. I am in college studying Psychology and maybe one day I can be the hand reaching out to someone suffering and pull them out of the quicksand. abgrantham, I remember the fear; I'm sure you could smell it on me. Breathing hard in hiding, praying to God, "Just let me live this time". Why did I fall back into it when he cried and begged forgiveness? What made me stay? One day I will have the answers to my questions. I think we have to come to a breaking point, either kill him or die. Only the lucky ones leave before that. Regardless, it all ends in some kind of tragedy. But once that life-saving step is taken, however it comes about, life is worth living and you never before realized how precious your life is. We have learned an important life lesson as long as we don't seek out men with those characteristics. Try to recognize it if your choice in men is getting progressively worse. You may need to talk to someone else who knows your story to find out how to stop the pattern. God bless all of us who have suffered and our babies who witnessed it. Most of all, we must be survivors, not victims.

Posted by ms_girl (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 3:06 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I would just like to say that all what happen is sad. But he better be glad that he hooked up with my sister and not me, cause all of you that are being chicken sh*t and two face to my sister would be wearing black to visit him. When his ass hit me holding OUR child, oh it would have been on like donkey kong. I know I would have snapped! FYI, it dont take two for demostic violence to occure. Any man is stonger than a woman. So those of you that are being two-faced to her, get a f*cking life.(sorry daddy,i know yaw reading this)

Posted by abgrantham (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 3:17 p.m. (Suggest removal)

ms-girl, if more women were like you, then domestic violence wouldn't be heard of nearly as much. I would do the same thing now, but I thank God, I don't live with an a**hole now. Hope your sister will take some advice from you. Don't give up on her and let her know you are there for her always.

Posted by buttercup26 (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 3:43 p.m. (Suggest removal)

no one is being two faced to your sister, ms-gurl. we or excuse me i have explained myself till I'm blue in the face! but, like i have told your sister over and over and over, no one is on any one's side especially me I'm siding with my self. sorry that your sister has nit picked and over analyzed every message that every one has sent to her. no one is out to get her! like i have told your sister all i can do as a friend is ask how her and them babies are doing because i wasn't there that night didn't care to try and get to know the father of her child, etc. she asked in every message to me 'have you talked to so and so?' or i'm sure so and so has told you their side' and it was never good enough for her for me or so and so to tell her there is no other side! we where not there! and as far as the messages being forwarded your sister expected me to tell her what that person was saying so that person only expected the same! sorry i have no message to forward to your sister with her being talked about! the bottom line is no one has talked about her!! now you take this and you roll with it any way ya'll choose. because no matter how any one of us try to explain 'theone333' will twist it into her on words and think that we are all against her.. when the fact of the matter is we not against or for any one!

Posted by theone333 (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 4:13 p.m. (Suggest removal)

(buttercup26) i'm so tried of you. you say that you don't know anything or want to know anything but, your name & comments on here & my myspace page is all i see. and i only said 1 time to you that i'm sure you've heard about it. so where this over & over comes from idk. but i will end this NOW YOU HAVE BETTER LEAVE ME ALONE. NO THIS IS NOT A THREAT LIKE YOU WANT. BUT YOU SAY YOU KNOW ME. NEED I SAY MORE. and no i don't twist crap. I SPEAK THE TRUTH. YOU SAID THIS IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS SO SHUT THE HELL UP. YES I KNOW YOUR BAD. AND YOU NEED TO KNOW I'M READY FOR WHAT YOU THINK YOU CAN DO. COME ON WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!! OOOOO WAIT I KNOW YOUR NOT THE BAD ONE I AM..... YEAH YOU NEVER MEANT TO MAKE ANYONE UPSET... YOU ARE SO FAKE!!!!! JUST BE VERY CAREFUL WITH YOUR WORDS.... LOVE YA

Posted by do_right (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 4:28 p.m. (Suggest removal)

(theone333) Dang girl, you gotta be tuff!! Hit in the back of the head about 13 times?? Then kicked in the back and the head another 'bout 7 times?? The last time I got kicked in the head I lost 3 really good teeth, ol face swelled up like a balloon, and couldn't eat for bout a week, and that was only three good kicks before I could grab his foot. Ouch!! That's gotta be hurtin' bad.

Posted by kpage (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 4:41 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Lord, hear our prayers.

Posted by do_right (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 4:43 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Amen to that!!!

Posted by ms_girl (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 5:41 p.m. (Suggest removal)

(buttercup26) how do you figure ur not being two-faced? arent you on her friends list on myspace? And since u know her so well, why dont u give her a call rather than write on here.(bear25)she knows who u are too. duh, thats the same username u have on myspace.

Posted by ms_girl (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 5:48 p.m. (Suggest removal)

(roberth33) how do u figure ur born gay? God is not that mean! The Bible says ur not to lay with ur own kind.So why would God make u be born like that?

Posted by buttercup26 (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 6:05 p.m. (Suggest removal)

i'm fake?? for from it!! oh my goodness did you not just send me a message saying you were done with it and laughing? ok maybe i read that wrong... my fault. as far as me calling her ms_gurl.. she knows why i can't call.. i just fished my phone out the dang toilet not to long ago! (that's the awesome sons of mine) as far as bear25? i'm glad ya'll know who it is cause i have no clue! ha! and if you noticed i still have not made your situation my business i have only defended myself in all of ya'll accusations... ok... so we are done with this roll with it as you will (as i said before) good luck and keep them youngins as happy and spoiled as always!! :)

Posted by mamaw (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 6:26 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Hey (theone333)in life we do what we have to and I don't blame you one darn bit for takin care of things anyway you had to, and (ms_girl)don't you worry about daddy, cause I can tell you how he feels..He said no man should EVER hit a woman,for any reason its to easy to walk away...Well he said a few other things but I cant say..ha ha Love,yall

Posted by sister_love (anonymous) on October 6, 2007 at 7:31 p.m. (Suggest removal)

theone333 we all believe you baby,you don't have to explain yourself to anyone ...anyone who "KNOWS" him knows how he is , so we can all, only imagine , He may have his scrony lil' leg broke , but I seen your back and ur head not long after it happened and like you said the sweet lil' baby is the one who suffers.You know the truth and that's all that matters , well actually he knows the truth to but he was prolly to screwed up as always to remember ! Luv ya bunches , give the girls kisses for me!

Posted by astrid (anonymous) on October 7, 2007 at 12:52 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I've only read several comments but that is all it took to think WOW!!!!! I cannot believe my eyes.

Posted by destiny (anonymous) on October 9, 2007 at 12:34 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I can't believe this column is still here. Maybe because it got more than 80 comments. Huh??? Today is the 9th, the last comment made was on the 7th. And like astrid says, WOW!!!!!.

Posted by ntz143 (anonymous) on October 12, 2007 at 11:03 p.m. (Suggest removal)

The Natchez Democrat webmaster really needs to get this under control.....I feel like I stepped into the middle of some bar fight in Doloroso....good grief!