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One volunteer can’t fix school alone
Published Wednesday, March 26, 2008
The precious little ones at West Primary School are the doctors, lawyers, burglars and shooters of tomorrow.
In anywhere from 10 to 30 years these children will be among those charged with either leading our community or destroying it.
And, though it’s awful to say, the teachers at the school can probably make some educated guesses about who will be in a business suit behind a desk and who will be in stripes behind bars.
What if the future criminals outnumber the future leaders?
That’s the question our community needs to contemplate while there is time to make change.
Arella Bacon is 67 years old.
And from picking up litter to educating children, she’s done it all for the Natchez community.
She is a diabetic who says she volunteers from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. every day so she won’t have time to eat the foods that could kill her. But anyone who has dealt with Bacon knows it’s her heart — not her sugars — that drives her.
Bacon has a plan for the future of Natchez, and it’s easy enough to follow.
But the key to developing a solution is first identifying the problem.
In Natchez, specifically in the Natchez-Adams School District, the problem first and foremost is a lack of parental support.
Administrators and teachers have preached it for years and I’ve witnessed it first hand, as has Bacon.
Not all parents are bad. And, of the ones that might fit the label “bad,” many are disabled by a lack of education or a lack of money.
Enter Bacon’s plan.
West Primary has 13 kindergarten classes this year.
Each class needs one responsible, educated, caring adult willing to make change — a sponsor, so to speak.
Bacon has already semi-adopted one class, so that only leaves 12.
These 13 — Bacon included — can very well be the start of a revolution.
Each class sponsor needs to make a visit to the home of one child in the class.
The sponsor doesn’t need to wear a business suit and show off their degree. He shouldn’t knock on the door intent on showing his smarts and volunteerism, and in turn make the parent feel dumb or inferior.
He just needs to begin building a relationship.
You see, many parents in the Natchez area don’t want to be bad parents. They just don’t know how to be good parents. They haven’t been taught.
Many students at West Primary were born to unwed, teenage mothers. Still more belong to parents who may not have had great parental role models themselves.
These parents need to learn the simple things, Bacon said.
“Things like how to reward your child,” she said. “You don’t have to always buy them something. Sometimes a good old hug will do.”
The 13 sponsors can begin teaching these things.
Then, quickly, a parent who has learned a few tricks of the trade can become the “sponsor” to another parent in the class.
Then those two can go to two more houses.
Simple math shows you how quickly such a movement could multiply.
Bacon’s focus right now is West Primary. We have time to change those children, she says. But we have to start now.
“One person can’t do it all,” she said.
But 13 can start it.
“We’ve got to go for parents,” Bacon told the Natchez-Adams School Board last week. “Go from house to house and ask the parent, ‘Will you please come out. I will help you with your children if you will come out.’ Truly, today, our school system can be better if we start with our babies.”
The 13 must be kind-hearted, patient, persistent and able to set anyone at ease.
Bacon is No. 1.
Are you No. 2?
Julie Finley is the managing editor of The Natchez Democrat. She can be reached at 601-445-3551 or julie.finley@natchezdemocrat.com.
Comments
Posted by dangyankee (anonymous) on March 26, 2008 at 12:30 a.m. (Suggest removal)
"Pay it forward?" (I finally saw that movie the other day; this reminds me of it.) It might just work--and no doubt will do a lot more good than writing angry, hostile, or simply dismissive diatribes in this comments section. If I were a parent, which I'm not, I would be tempted to join Ms. Bacon in this effort. As it is, I'll just be cheering her (and the other 12) volunteers on from the sidelines, and hoping that you, Ms. Finley, keep us posted on their progress (as I imagine you will, actually).
Posted by dangyankee (anonymous) on March 26, 2008 at 12:32 a.m. (Suggest removal)
(P.S. I'm not qualified on another count--I am not educated; that is, I don't have a degree.)
Posted by gemccull (Gary McCullars) on March 26, 2008 at 7:20 a.m. (Suggest removal)
dangyankee, ok, so you do not have a degree.
The school of hard knocks and life experiences should be enough if you really have the desire to help.
Posted by Peace007 (anonymous) on March 26, 2008 at 9:04 a.m. (Suggest removal)
dangyankee, but you're very intelligent, and some of those kids could use a guy to look up too. You should do it, if you feel the urge to help. Then you can say...you have adopted kids.
Posted by triscuit (anonymous) on March 26, 2008 at 3:52 p.m. (Suggest removal)
What a great idea. Thank you Julie Finley for giving it press space. I hope it catches on.
Posted by avoylles (anonymous) on March 26, 2008 at 11:29 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Never keep the fact you don't have kids from preventing you from reaching out to a child. Sometimes all a kid needs to keep them from a "life in stripes behind bars" is someone to give them unconditional positive regard. No kids or degree required . . . just you.
Posted by dangyankee (anonymous) on March 27, 2008 at 12:37 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Thanks, Peace007, for the vote of confidence, but trust me, I am far too cantankerous, cranky and curmudgeonly for this kind of responsibility. Some of us are better suited for sideline duty. Besides, I'm not "from here," and so would not be the best choice, anyway.
Know who I would like to see get involved (keep in mind that I really don't know many people here)? Without naming names, there is a guy who works down at the Humane Society (he had had a whole career doing something nuclear before); there are a couple of maintenance guys and security people over at Co-Lin; a Walgreen's photo lab guy (actually two of them, one from each of their local stores); at least two ladies from the photo lab at Wal-Mart; a handful of others that, if I put my mind to it for a minute, I would remember.
It occurs to me that none of these people likely have degrees, but, as Gary pointed out, above, they all have graduated (now doing graduate work) from the "school of hard knocks and life experiences." More important, though, they are all "good people" who have not let life beat them down. There are a lot of people like that here, and those are the people I would want helping show the next generation the way.
Avoylles, you make a valid point. I worked 11 years in the general pediatric clinic at a big midwestern children's hospital. When I left, we were seeing around 150-200 kids a day. That's a lot of kids I got to trip over every day in the course of my daily duties. Know what seemed to make more difference to a kid than virtually anything else? "Eye contact." Actually SEE them, talk to them for a minute, listen to them, just for a minute (less than a minute, much of the time--it's the eye contact, you don't "look through them"). Kids today, even the economically disadvantaged ones comprising most of our patient population up there, seem to get lots of "stuff"--toys, etc.--and very little attention.
It needs to start when they are young. An 18th-century English writer, Samuel Johnson, once said, "Give me a child until he is 5, and I don't care who has him after that." (or words to that effect--I have no memory anymore). The first 5 years shape a child in ways most of us cannot even imagine.
And I'm running out of space. More later, maybe.
Posted by Peace007 (anonymous) on March 27, 2008 at 1:03 a.m. (Suggest removal)
dangyank, I'll be honest with you...just judging from what you've written on the comments, I suspected that you had been educated very well, and if you haven't been, you do very well with what you got, lol. What kind of work did you do at the pediatric clinic? What do you do now?
Posted by observer (anonymous) on March 27, 2008 at 5:07 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Individual attention and parental attention - - these are indeed the key. I have had the opportunity to observe a program based at the Natchez Children's Home. It is a joint venture of the Home and Catholic Charities and is called Day Treatment. It's geared to pre-schoolers ("Give me a child until he is five...").
Day treatment, I learned, addresses three and four-year old youngsters with behavioral and academic challenges that make them at-risk for school failure. These children are transported, fed, and taught during a highly structured five hour program that operates all year. Some of the Home's resident children also participate.
There are currently two classes with a third now accepting applications for children who fit the criteria. Parents with medicaid eligible pre-school children who need this kind of help should look into this. It doesn't cost the parents anything.
I have also learned that Natchez Children’s Home Services has expanded its individual, group and family counseling services to include these children and their families as well as the Home's resident children. An LCSW degreed social worker is on staff and oversees the counseling programs.
As a regular volunteer for Natchez Children's Home, I've been privileged to watch as sixteen little wildcats became happy, well behaved kids. Love is needed, yes, but so is structure and reinforcement from the parents... and this must be taught and demonstrated.
Kudos to Arella Bacon, her volunteers and all involved in the Day Treatment program at Catholic Charities and Natchez Children's Home Services!
Posted by Peace007 (anonymous) on March 27, 2008 at 8:56 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Observer, are you saying that any parent experiencing difficulty with their child, no matter what age, can call Natchez Childrens Home for couseling service? And Natchez Childrens Home will bill their insurance? Or is this service only for parent of pre-schoolers on Medicaid?
Natchez Public Schools used to have parent meetings so that parents could exchange stories of what they had dealt with, how they dealt with it; a sort of group therapy support class.
Sister Clare at Catholic Charities used to hold a "How to talk so kids will Listen" class, and also, held one on one therapy sessions. Sister Clare got tickled at me as I sat there in wide eyed amazement while listening to this one woman talk about how she couldn't get her child to screw the lid back on the toothpaste, and I blurted out that I wasn't worried about the toothpaste top, I just wanted my kids to stop climbing out the window during the night and running off to NYC. Now that things have settled down and my kids are all grown, I can look back and see the importance of the toothpaste lid. And, uniforms would have been a life saver for me back in those days...geesh.
Posted by babyblu2001 (anonymous) on March 27, 2008 at 11:47 a.m. (Suggest removal)
~~~Many students at West Primary were born to unwed, teenage mothers. Still more belong to parents who may not have had great parental role models themselves.
Excuse me! Born to unwed mothers---This has nothing to do with this article...But on the subject since it was....Why aren't the fathers to these children mentioned? I am a mother of a 6 year old (I chose to raise him away from Natchez) out of wedlock (my choice ,also). Many children are given guidance by single parents and grow into well educated and respected adults.
The schools in Natchez (I was raised there myself)have NEVER been comparable to many others in MS. Money has never been used to even build a new school. If my child had to attend Kindergarten in the area that West Primary is in, I'm sorry but I would find a way to afford private school for him. I think a good start would be rebuilding some of the schools there and placing them in an area that people aren't afraid to leave their children in all day.
It is great that you all are reaching out for volunteers, but a great help would be reaching out to those that choose where your tax dollars go. These children (and teachers)deserve a nice school in a nice area. The new convention center is beautiful, but drive around MS and you'll notice that that a town with a nice convention center usually has a nice school.
Good luck to finding volunteers! They will make a difference in these children's lives. Also, a great organization that you all may want to look into ( if you don't already have it) is the Boys and Girls Club. They teach children self respect, respect to others and are a non profit organization. My son goes to their after school program and it has been wonderful for him.
Posted by observer (anonymous) on March 28, 2008 at 2:13 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Peace007, the program I was primarily referring to is the Day Treatment program and it is, as I mentioned, only for preschool children on medicaid who have behavioral problems. The counseling for these children & their families is included.
The other children in residence at the Home also receive counseling, regardless of their age. These children, however, live at the home all the time - they don't go home after school.
BabyBlu, there is an active Boys and Girls Club in Natchez. They have a very good after school program I've heard.
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