Posted by lowrider (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 12:05 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Here we go again

Posted by texasranger (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 2:33 a.m.

(This comment was removed by the site staff.)

Posted by shandavs (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 4:38 a.m. (Suggest removal)

When you don't know the situation, you should not give a judgement. For your information, Kadarius has been abused physical, emotional, and verbally every since he was a little boy. He has grown up watching Don not only abusing him, it was his mother, sister and little brother who was abused as well. Don is a person who always abused his family when he drink. I told Kadarius mother that all the times that she had to called the police to her house for Don she should have pressed charges. This is what people don't know, here is a perfect example: Don got drunk came home and beat up Kadrius even busting his face open, Kadarius was about 15 or 16 then. So, before posting a jugdement, get all the facts. Another thing this is a no win situation for anyone because you have a son - stepson, mother, husband and wife. But at the end of the day this is something I knew in my heart would eventually happen.

Posted by harvest1 (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 5:09 a.m. (Suggest removal)

shandavs... Thank you so much for your post. But don't get too upset with the people on these post, there are people like this all over the country, and believe it or not in other countries also.It's something you have to live with. Belive it , or not, some places are much worse than this. My prayers are for the family. I hope everything will work out for all involved.

Posted by blaqbuddaflyy (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 7:27 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Texasranger I agree with you completely. I have known Kadarius's mother all of my life and she has allowed this man to do her son like this. I remember a time where Don came home drunk and jumped on his wife and Kadarius because she didn't save him any beer. He is a very mean man toward his step kids. But some women are more concerned about their men than their children. I wish I could tell the absolute whole story on here but I know my comments will be removed. This is a very said situation that I to always knew would happen. I feel bad that Don got shot but I can't see why he didnt see this coming since this child is older now.

Posted by charliebug5865 (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 8:06 a.m. (Suggest removal)

THIS IS VERY SAD FOR ALL OF THE CHILDREN IN THE HOME!NOW WILL THE MOTHER DO THE RIGHT THING,AND GET HER KIDS OUT OF THIS ABUSIVE SUTUATION,OR,WE WILL BE READING ABOUT THIS AGAIN!i apologize if i offend anyone,the MOTHER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR GETTING HER KIDS OUT OF THIS,OR THE RESPECTIVE AUTHORITIES MAY BE ABLE TO CHARG HER W/CHILD NEGLECT,ETC. THEN AGAIN ,WE COULD ALL HAVE BEEN READING ABOUT THE ABUSIVE DON IN THE OBITS.,HE NEEDS TO BE BETTER TO HIS WIFES KIDS,THIS IS THE 1ST SIGN,ITS A MATTER OF TIME,BEFORE HEIS GONE PERMANENTLY FOR CHILD ABUSE.DID THEY CHARGE HIM AT ALL FO BEING ABUSIVE? DID THEY JUST FEEL SORRY FOR HIM? I GOT SOMETHING FOR THESE ABUSIVE ADULTS,THO I WONT SAY!

Posted by sayitloud (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 8:28 a.m. (Suggest removal)

She prob stays with him for his pay check.

Posted by charliebug5865 (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 8:50 a.m. (Suggest removal)

sayitloud,the mom may think thats a good reason,altho,I,MYSELF,W/FAMILY HELP raised my 3 kids w/out a stepdad,or any other kind of revenue, besides my family.It can be done. While i was raising my kids, they didnot have all of the childadvocacies or any daycare help,like they do now.She just needs to go apply for these programs,&rely on her own survival instints instead of putting the kids in harms way!YA know this story could have went the other way on both parts.I am not condoning what the boy done,I DO BELEIVE IN SELF DEFENSE,and I cannot phathom my child being so afraid of a stepparent, that they would go to these measures! All of these kids will have deepseeded issues thruout their life, if they do not seek counseling,or somebody advocates for them.Have they removed the other children from danger? I worked 2& 3 jobs while my kids were growing up,& still made time to spend w/them,I DO NOT THINK PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK WOULD BE ENOUGH COMPENSATION FOR THE TRADE OF FEAR THESE KIDS HAVE APPARENTLY HAD TO ENDURE!GET A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by blessed_momma (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 9:02 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Wow, this is a sad situation! Obviously the young man didnt intend to KILL his step dad. He shot him in the side. It could have easily been in the heart or the head! Its sad because I cant honestly say that if a man was jumping on my mama and my siblings and me for years that I wouldnt KILL him! If the posts are true, and the boy and his family has been abused by this man, I think (its MY PERSONAL OPINION) that his mother should be charged with child abuse, endangerment and neglect for allowing her husband to beat her children and doing NOTHING to stop it! I cant even IMAGINE allowing someone to abuse my children. If she chose to stay in the situation and continue to be beat on, thats HER CHOICE, but the children werent given a CHOICE! If all is true, the man should be thankful to be alive! Perhaps he will think twice before raising his hands to his wife or his step kids. Sad reality is, he probably will continue his abusive ways because he has become the "victim" and will want revenge. God, help this family of children! Their mother has a CHOICE! Sad that her child had to defend himself because his own mama wouldnt protect him!

Posted by notfromnatchez (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 9:06 a.m. (Suggest removal)

OMG!!! I can't believe I am actually typing this...

But I AGREE with Sayitloud...at least in this case.

Posted by blessed_momma (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 9:22 a.m. (Suggest removal)

If thats the case, its just a sad low down shame! There are ways of getting a pay check (like getting a job!!) without your children getting abused! She could have made ends meet without herself or her kids being beaten!
What someone does to me is one thing, but when it comes to my babies, its a totally different story! I will blow someone into over one of my babies! That includes my 2 step children! THEY are MY babies too! I just have to share the two of them with their mother. Nevertheless, I would die, or kill for ALL of my babies! God has blessed me with 2 girls with my husband and a step son and a step daughter. God has blessed me with 4 beautiful babies! I love them and there is NOTHING that I wouldnt do to protect them!
JOB= MONEY! If it isnt enough, get food stamps, TANF, medicaid, help with day care whatever resources that are available IF you TRULY NEED it! A paycheck doesnt warrant abuse!! There is NO EXCUSE!!!!!!!!

Posted by Krogers (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 9:25 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Sounds like this guy got what he deserved, but the wife should have had him arrested and left him long ago. So Sad. I'm sure she was afraid of him, as the police may have taken him to jail for a short period, then he would come back and beat her and the whole family, going from the posts above.

Sayitloud- you're pathetic, have some compassion for the weak will you? I hope the courts see the truth and give the kid a break, call it self-defense, and ultimately punish Don for being such a punk bully on his family. What a scumbag the beats his wife and kids.

thank you to those above who have shed some truth on this incident

Posted by blessed_momma (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 9:53 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I was in an abusive marriage for 5 years. PRAISE GOD, I didnt have any children with that psycho! I understand how it feels to be scared to leave. I also understand that unless you are in a specific situation its hard to say what one would or wouldnt do. BUT, I CAN tell you without a doubt that if she was scared to leave, and she was witnessing her babies being beaten she SHOULD HAVE KILLED HIM HERSELF!!!! Its called SELF DEFENSE! If ANYONE EVER tried to hurt my babies, I would blow them away! There is NO EXCUSE to ALLOW child abuse! She could have even sent the children to live somewhere else to protect them. The kids are INNOCENT! It was HER choice to bring the man into her home with her kids and HER choice to KEEP him there! I've been abused. Praise God for delivering me out of that! With the help of God, with EVERY breath I breathe, I will protect my babies. God bless you all!

Posted by Gluttony (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 1:55 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I can actually say that he deserved what was coming to him. Yes I agree the wife should have done it herself. She would have probably got probation or an award.

Sons Of Sam
http://www.sonsofsam-gluttony.blogspot.c...
Making America Better Since 1622

Posted by overthehill60 (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 3:22 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I argee with ((charliebug5865)) no woman should put her childrren through an abusive relationship. If she wants to be knocked around so be it, but she should protect her children. I would fight a bear for my children!
I can't understand why the woman had to wait until her son shot him if he is as bad as they say I would have shot him the first time he raised a hand to my child. As for compassion for the woman where was her compassion for her children when she would see them being abused?

Posted by dangyankee (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 4:47 p.m. (Suggest removal)

It's awfully easy to sit on the outside and say what we "woulda" or "coulda" done in a given situation, but unless we have actually been there, we don't know. A situation like this one likely didn't happen overnight, but rather was a gradual thing, almost unnoticeable, like walking baby step by baby step out into a pond, water getting higher and higher, until suddenly you find your mouth and nose under the surface and your feet unable to find purchase on the muddy bottom. And then you're f-worded.

I'm not going to judge the mother. In retrospect (and because this is "news," it is all retrospect to us--something that already happened, that we are looking "back" on), yeah, sure, the mother obviously should have done something different. Unfortunately she didn't have the benefit of "retrospect": She was stuck in "now."

When it comes to raising kids, there is such a fine line between "discipline" and "abuse" that even "good" parents cross it sometimes. I got whippings once in a very great while, as a child, that would probably have qualified as "child abuse" by today's standards; most times I needed it, I only got "spankings," which obviously I survived and probably did me a lot of good, in the long run. The spouse (mom or dad) observing the spankings/whippings probably was torn sometimes, trying to figure out if the spouse (mom or dad) administering the punishment was crossing that thin line. By the time he or she figured it out, the punishment was done and the time to intervene had passed.

So, no, I'm not going to judge the woman, the mother, involved here. Instead, I am going to assume that she was doing the best she could by her kids. From here it may look like her "best" wasn't very darned good, but what the hell do any of us really know about it?

Posted by drawpaintsing (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 6:47 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Wonderful post, Dangyankee.

I hope everything goes well in this situation. Being in a verbal abusive relationship, I know that with some people it's just not easy to leave. It took me a while to get out of it.
I'm glad I did. God bless this family!

Posted by oldschool (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 7:25 p.m. (Suggest removal)

like I always say....WHat goes around comes around!!! The step father should have not been such a coward! I am not saying by any means that shooting somebody is ok but if NOBODY would help these kids what else could of been done. SHAME on the MOTHER!!! You should NEVER let anybody CONTROL you. NO matter what. A woman should be able to stand on her own two feet and support her kids, If she can't then she don't need them. I know times are tuff but heck people make more money on welfare than a fulltime store clerk but she should have took advantage of the resources and got her kids out of there. Such a sad Ending but you know maybe these bad ass folks need a wake up call!.

Posted by Teach4Peace (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 8:13 p.m. (Suggest removal)

IF the story of Kadrius being abused, ever since a little boy is true, then my question keeps remaining: Why do women allow ANY type of man to be over them and their children? Please, spare me any comments on well the woman is afraid, can't leave, etc. When it's no one but you and your child(children), you are charged with providing them love, food, shelter, clothing and PROTECTION! Of course it's not easy to leave the longer you stay, but for the children's sake, even if you don't care for yourself, get the hell out! It won't get better. Again, why does someone have to be killed and all the condolences start pooring out, before people learn?

Posted by dangyankee (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 8:18 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Oldschool, she may not have even known the resources were there, or how to take advantage of them. Heck, she may not even have known she NEEDED resources to help.

The truly sad aspect about situations like these is that often the victims don't even know they are being abused. For some of them (not all; I'm not trying to stereotype, here), it's "just the way life is."

Get beaten down in small ways, then larger ways, then huge ways over the course of time, and pretty soon you probably feel like you belong beaten down. "Just the way life is."

Not everyone is born with, or raised to have, the awareness that they are special, unique, and worthy not only of respect, but of being treated like a special, unique and worthy human being.

Oldschool, I'll bet no one ever told this particular mom, when she was growing up, that she "should NEVER let anybody CONTROL" her. If I were guessing, I would bet that in fact she was told/shown the opposite, that someone else would ALWAYS be in control of her, and that that's just the way life is.

So, no, I'm not judging her.

As for the kid . . . I hope he gets a good lawyer and gets away with probation for, say, "injuring a protected species" or something. If the situation was as people above said it was (and I have no way of knowing one way or the other), he was justified in giving the victim another bodily orifice or two. At the same time, no, he was not.

I hope the person who eventually judges this trial is a whole lot wiser than I am.

Posted by dangyankee (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 8:35 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Teach4peace, somebody probably taught you, as you were growing up, that you should not stand for being abused. Congratulations to your parents--they obviously did good work.

But what if you were NOT taught that, either by words or by example?

Posted by blaqbuddaflyy (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 9:11 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I can say I personally know the mother doesn't stay there with Don for a paycheck because half the time he doesn't even work and she is a hard working woman who is currently holding down 2 jobs so looks like he's staying there for her paycheck.

Posted by pbnj (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 9:41 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I actually would have assumed that. Just another way he controlled her. I too was in an abusive relationship(without children) and it is not always fear that makes you stay it is having that you are not good enough for anyone else drilled or beat into your head for so long you believe it. But I know now that I have a wonderful husband and daughter, and I would shoot to kill anyone that abused her. I guess leaving is what makes you a stronger person. But maybe something like this will make someone think what could happen the next time they raise their fist.

Posted by fire39212 (anonymous) on July 26, 2008 at 11:43 p.m. (Suggest removal)

If she has called the law why weren't they both taken to jail? She is a SORRY momma to allow this to happen to her children!!! No ands ifs or butts about it...I donot care how much people say aww she was scared, Don't you think those kids were also scared? Sorry momma!!!!! They should charge her with child abuse, and neglect!!!

Posted by charliebug5865 (anonymous) on July 27, 2008 at 9:07 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I WOULD LIKE TO ADD A COUPLE OF LAST COMMENTS IN RETROSPECT TO MY OWN EXPERIANCES. I WAS RAISED IN AN ABUSIVE HOME,VERY,AND WE ALL 4 KIDS HAVE DRAGGED THIS BAGGAGE AROUND W/ US 4 YRS. MY MOM WAS ALSO BEATEN& ME& MY OLDER BRO. ALWAYS AS FAR BACK AS I CAN REMEMBER TRIED TO PROTECT HER,OF COURSE WE TOOK SOME OF THE BLOWS FOR HER WHEN WE GOT INVOLVED.FINALLY SHE HAD THE STRENGTH & COURAGE TO LEAVE HIM ONLY TO MARRY ANOTHER ABUSIVE MAN. ITS CALLED BATTERED WOMENS SYNDROME. ONLY THIS TIME WE WERE ABUSED PHYSICALLY,AS WELL AS OTHER SICK S---, IF THERE ARE ANY FEMALE CHILDREN IN THE HOME,I PRAY FOR ALL THESE KIDS TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE! GREAT FOR THE MOMA FOR WORKING 2 JOBS,NOW SHE DOESNOT KNOW THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO HER KIDS WHEN SHE IS GONE. THIS IS VERY SAD FOR ALL, AND I THINK AFTER I FOUND OUT THE MOM DOES NOT NEED THE MONEY(PAYCHECK) I THINK SHE MUST BE CO-DEPENDANT FOR SOMETHING FROM THIS DON CHARACTER,OR SHE DOES NOT HAVE VERY MUCH SELF-ESTEEM,CAUSE HIS BUTT WOULDHAVE SURELY BEEN GONE HAD I BEEN HIS WIFE,& PROBABLY WOULD HAVE FOUND AN EQUALIZER TO MAKE THINGS EVEN! I AM NOT JUDGING ANYBODY FOR THE RECORD. I PRAY THIS MOTHER WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS PIECE OF A MAN BACK INTO THEIR LIFE.IT DOES TAKE A DESPERATE MEASURE TO THINK YOUR ONLY WAY OUT IS TO SHOOT A MAN (SCARED TO DEATH) I WILL PRAY FOR THE FAMILY,BUT MY CONCERN ARE THE KIDS THAT ARE LEFT IN THE HOME,IF DON RETURNS TO THE MOMMA,AND I THANK GOD IT DID NOT TURN OUT WORSE FOR THIS YOUNG MAN, HE NEEDS AN ADVOCATE AND ALOT OF THEM IF HIS TRUE STORY IS SELF-DEFENSE,HE WILL BE IN MY PRAYERS! IF SO MANY PEOPLE KNEW HOW ABUSIVE THIS STEPDAD HAS BEEN,WHY HAS SOMETHING BEEN NOT BEEN DONE UP TO NOW? I MEAN ITS NOT LIKE THE BOY EVEN TRIED TO RUN,HE WAS TRYING TO STOP ABUSE,AND ANY YOUNG MAN HIS AGE WOULD HAVE DONE SO BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY TO KEEP HIS MOMMA & SIBLINGS SAFE! I STILL CAN NOT PHATHOM THE MOTHER NOT GETTING THE KIDS OUT, EVEN IF SHE WANTED TO STAY!!!!!!!!!

Posted by vidalia1 (anonymous) on July 27, 2008 at 2:26 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Hope that the courts are able to get some of you who know the history of this abuse to testify in behalf of the young man. Often abusers like to show out in front of children and dare them to defend.I left home with eight dollars and traveled 2,500 miles to an unknown place and have never regretted it.I hate to see children put in theses situations. I pray it all works out and no matter what happens serious counseling is needed for all involved.

Posted by whatever (anonymous) on July 27, 2008 at 9:15 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Oh my, how easy it is to say what someone else should have done in a certain situation! The fact of the matter is, none of us were there, so we all have no right to make statements about what should have happened.

That being said, I was abused by my now ex-husband. I felt like I had no where to go, that no one loved me, that everyone hated me, that I was stupid, fat, ugly, worthless, etc.... He, of course, was the one telling me all of this. I thank God every day that it was verbal/emotional abusive, vs. physical abuse, AND that I was strong enough to walk away from it all (with the help of the very people he claimed hated me). Why was I able to do that...? Because they never stopped reaching out a hand for me, no matter how many times I left him, swearing to never go back, then going back to him that very same day.

Instead of people judging her and her son, why don't you offer her hope and encouragement? Yes, I know she's the only one that can make the decision to leave him, but instead of talking about her like she's worthless, why not at least TRY to be understanding and EMPATHETIC (not sympathetic) to the situation?

This woman and her children need understanding and support, not someone other than her husband beating her down. She made a mistake, one I'm sure she'll regret for the rest of her life. You people are no better than her husband is, especially when you act like you are doing so now.

This is one of the main reasons why I hate reading the Democrat online....because there are always some idiots out there that see/believe what they want, without taking into consideration other's feelings and beliefs.

I hope there is something better in store for you, Kadarius, and for your mother. I pray that you are blessed for trying to break out of this cycle of abuse, and that you are able to encourage your mother to do so also.