Movie titles reflect 1999 season

Published 12:00 am Sunday, December 5, 1999

It’s the holiday season, so you know what that means –&160;new movies. But don’t let the previews fool you. And I’ll throw in some favorite rentals, also.

Pokemon: The First Movie: Gerry DiNardo going with Josh Booty all year; David Cutcliffe throwing a pass with seconds remaining in regulation against Mississippi State; Jackie Sherill not being able to recruit a quarterback – like the movie, none of it makes sense to me.

The Best Man: An first-person account of golfer Tiger Woods.

Email newsletter signup

Double Jeopardy: The story of one of the nation’s favorite game shows and the discount Florida State wide receiver Peter Warrick gets as a contestant.

Sixth Sense: What the owner of the Indianapolis Colts has in drafting Peyton Manning and Edgarrin James.

Ride With The Devil: The story of a up-and-coming boxer who hires Don King as his manager.

Tumbleweeds: Sisters Venus and Serena Williams roll over everybody in sight on their way to the top of the tennis world.

The Insider: Major League umpires threaten to disrupt the sport of baseball by walking out. Bring plenty of tissues.

The Haunting: The story of any baseball player who goes to the plate against Randy Johnson.

Lion King: Charlie Batch replaces Bary Sanders in the title role.

The Bachelor: A documentary on what you have to be to attend an NBA game where some tickets to one game go for as much as $90.

Being John Malkovich: Who Joe Paterno became after the Nittany Lions lost three straight games at the end of the season. Actually, that could be Ohio State’s John Cooper.

The Bone Collector: The story of the Mississippi State defensive backfield. Contains violence.

Dogma: A documentary of what Jimmy Johnson puts on his hair.

Toy Story 2: The story of puppet-like toys that come to live. It has to be an autobiography of New York Yankee owner George Steinbrenner.

The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc: The story of any Florida quarterback who doesn’t follow Steve Spurrier’s orders.

Sleepy Hollow: Follows Barry Sanders from the top of the NFL to where he now resides.

The Green Mile:&160;How long a first down seems to be on artificial turf to this year’s Atlanta Falcon football team.

Elmo in Grouchland:&160;The Sesame Street character is signed by the Cincinnati Reds. He doesn’t finish the season because Marge Schott’s dog tracks him down after a game.

Inspector Gadget: Southern Mississippi head football coach Jeff Bower pretends to be chewing out a player who then runs down the sideline to catch a pass off a faked punt that eventually beats Louisville. True story.

For Love of the Game: Never mind Kevin Costner. Just put Sammy Sosa in the lead actor role and let him go.

The World Is Not Enough: A documentary of contract negotiations surrounding most athletes. Or Billy Brewer’s lawsuit.

Flawless: The story of New Orleans Saints fans and what they expected from top draft pick Ricky Williams.

Anywhere But Here: Ricky Williams being the top draft choice of the New Orleans Saints.

End of Days: Ricky Williams leads the New Orleans Saints to the Super Bowl.

Joey Martin is sports editror of The Democrat. He can be reached at 446-5172 ext. 232 or by e-mail at