Until last week, the importance of women’s rest rooms had been largely lost on me. Sure, I understand the tangible need. When the urge comes, we all need a refuge.

Last weekend, at the Krewe of Phoenix’s Call Out Ball, the lines outside the women’s bathrooms were, I am told, unbelievably long.

Thankfully, however, members of the Mississippi House of Representatives hope to eliminate those annoyingly long lines for the women of the state through some simple legislation.

District 53 Rep. Bobby Moak wants the state to put its toilets where the greatest needs are — behind the door with the little woman-in-a-dress icon.

Moak’s House Bill 9 would mandate that all state buildings have “twice the number of women’s rest rooms as men’s rest rooms.”

Thank you, Mr. Moak.

If the bill is passed into law, the women of our fine state will breath a sigh of relief. Pardon the pun.

Moak’s expansive toiletry bill isn’t the only gem, however, teetering on the brink of become Mississippi code.

Several interesting, that’s how my mother taught me to describe things like this, bills are bouncing around the Capitol, courtesy of the southwest Mississippi legislative contingent.

The glorious watermelon with all its seed-spitting potential and juicy red meat is dripping toward its 15 minutes of fame thanks to House Bill 1091, also a Moak creation.

The bill would designate the watermelon (Citrullus lanatus) as the official state fruit.

Apparently, Mississippi doesn’t have a state fruit. And, gosh darn it, we need one.

Doing so, the bill’s text states, would “enhance the cultural stature of Mississippi both nationally and internationally.”

Who knew just how powerful the fruit could be? The “Mississippi, Believe It!” campaign has nothing on international melon power.

But state lawmakers aren’t just concerned with inanimate objects; they are also concerned at how good our citizens look, too, particularly in the hair department.

District 96 Representative Angela Cockerham has introduced many of us to a new word through House Bill 1345 — wigology.

Yep, that’s correct, wigology.

Apparently it’s the science of building and repairing wigs.

The bill would allow the State Cosmetology Board (I didn’t know that existed, either) to begin combing through applicants and fitting would-be instructors with licenses in teaching wigology.

But don’t think wigology instruction is to be taken lightly. The requirements as spelled out in the bill seem staggering:

*600 hours of instructor training in an accredited wigology school.

*Two years of active practical experience as a wigologist.

*The ability to read, write and speak English.

Truly staggering.

Rep. America “Chuck” Middleton, District 85, is worrying over licenses, too.

His bill, House Bill 1283, would amend the rules for licensing funeral directors — at least temporarily. The amendment would allow the state to issue a license to anyone with 20 years of experience working as an employee at a licensed funeral establishment.

Seems logical, in a way, 20 years is quite a bit of experience.

What seems a little strange, however, is that the law would only allow applications to be taken from July 1 through July 31 of this year.

Only opening up the law for one month seems strange. Perhaps that’s a typo?

Finally, District 92 lawmaker, Rep. Jim C. Barnett has tanning on his mind.

House Bill 957 would outlaw all those 14 and younger from getting bronzed up inside tanning beds. Further, tanners aged 14 to 18 would need written parental consent before donning the little goggles and getting dark.

Tanners, funeral directors, wigology instructors, watermelons and toilets, oh my. All that tans, err, warms a taxpayer’s confidence, doesn’t it?

Kevin Cooper is associate publisher of The Natchez Democrat. He can be reached at 601-445-3539 or kevin.cooper@natchezdemocrat.com.