While physical abuse is generally considered the most serious form of domestic violence because of the immediate threat of life and limb, this does not mean the other forms should be taken lightly, even if they don’t seem “serious.”

Other forms of abuse often precede physical abuse and function as warning signals. Any time a partner engages in behavior that makes a woman feel demeaned, humiliated and uncomfortable, whether it amounts to roughhousing, small shoves, sexual domination, or insults, she should tell her partner to stop — and he should be willing to respect her request.

Many couples have nasty spats occasionally. The difference in an abusive relationship is first, the vicious one-sided character of the attack and, second, that while the abuser may agree to stop the behavior at the time, the first time is never the last — not is the second or the third.

In violent homes, one partner dominates and controls other family members, often to the point of creating a sort of terrorist state in which the threat of harm is constant and unpredictable.

It is no secret that violence also happens between same-sex couples. Most of the principles applicable to heterosexual couples apply to homosexual couples as well.

Domestic violence is a particular crime with its own dynamics and special risks. Even when women who do what society tells them is right, and leave at the first sign of violence, often fall prey to continued harassment. Stalking is a particular problem for women who leave, whether it’s sooner or later.

The vast majority of stalking crimes are committed by former husbands or boyfriends against women who have left the relationship. One in 12 women have been stalked. Eighty percent of those who are stalked are assaulted, and women are four times as likely as men to be stalking victims.

Stalking involves any pattern of behavior that serves no legitimate purpose and is intended to harass, annoy, or terrorize the victim. The stalker is obsessed with the victim, and can’t cope with the rejection and anger he feels when she leaves. The stalker often wants to “take revenge” on the victim, who is blamed for causing these feelings. Typical stalking activities include repeated phone calls, letters or gifts by mail, surveillance at work, home, and other places the victim is known to frequent, vandalism of the victim’s car or other possessions, and physical encounters.

Carolene Britt is a counselor at Southwest Mississippi Mental Health Complex.