It’s bedtime, where is your lovey?
Published 12:02 am Friday, July 8, 2011
With three rabbits, one bear, a giraffe, a donkey and two spiders, my son Gibson doesn’t ever go to sleep alone. He has plenty of stuffed animals to keep him company in his bed. But it’s not his toys that keep 2-year-old Gibson up at night these days.
I guess most children have that one item that must be within arms reach to keep them company at night. Psychologists call these items “transitional objects.” Doctors and parents sometime refer to them as “loveys.” Whatever they are called, these objects help children ease worries and handle unfamiliar situations.
Security blankets, teddy bears and pacifiers are the most common loveys, but almost any object can be adopted for comfort. One parent recently told me that her daughter had to carry around part of her mother’s pajamas before going to sleep.
Like Linus in the old Peanuts cartoons, I carried a blue blanket with me wherever I went until I was 4 years old. My obsession with my “blankie” was just as serious as that of Linus who grew pale and fainted whenever Snoopy snatched away his blanket. I grew so attached to my piece of cloth that my parents cut it into four small pieces so that they could at least keep one of the pieces washed while I carried around the others.
My younger brother likes to point out that he didn’t have a need for any of these security devices.
That was the hope I had for Gibson until a few weeks ago when I caught him frantically searching for a mysterious object in the middle of night.
The tears let me know the seriousness of the situation. Still, I had no idea what he was searching for and could barely understand him between the whimpers and sobs.
In my desperation, I reached for his sippy cup and handed it to him. His sobbing ceased and Gibson returned to his bed to sleep.
Since then, Gibson has made sure that his sippy cup is always within arm’s reach. He takes his cup of water with him to bed each night and tucks it in the corner above his pillow.
Any attempt to take the cup away is met with protest. Moving it after he falls asleep assures crying in the middle of the night.
Thankfully, he only requires the cup at night and doesn’t insist on carrying it around with him wherever he goes.
If mom and dad are lucky, this attachment will not last into adulthood.
It does happen. When I was working in Jackson a few years ago, a co-worker told of her shock when she discovered that her fiancé still slept with his teddy bear.
Evidently she’s not alone. Last year, a British hotel chain surveyed its customers about their sleeping practices.
During a period of 12 months, Travelodge reunited 75,000 teddy bears with their owners. Intrigued, the hotel decided to ask questions.
Turns out 35 percent of the adults questioned said they slept with a teddy bear each night. They found cuddling with the animals to be soothing and a great stress reliever.
Twenty-five percent of the men who responded said they take stuffed animals with them on business trips because they reminded them of home and help fill a void left by distant partners.
Maybe there is something to this teddy bear thing, if they provide comfort, reduce stress and make people feel less lonely.
The past few nights have been relatively quiet at the Hillyer house.
With his sippy cup by his side, Gibson has slept peacefully in his own bed, leaving mom and dad to do the same.
Maybe I should ask my parents if they have a piece of that blue blankie tucked away somewhere.
Ben Hillyer is the design editor of The Natchez Democrat. He can be reached at 601-445-3540 or ben.hillyer@natchezdemocrat.com.