Wisdom. Webster’s defines it as &uot;understanding of what is true, right or lasting&uot; and &uot;common sense; good judgment.&uot; It sure is interesting how we gain wisdom as we age.

I’ve picked up a number of things.

From childhood, the words &uot;…don’t tug on Superman’s cape&uot; have stuck with me. And I can honestly say, given the chance, I wouldn’t try it.

I’ve also learned that there is a precise, prudent method for answering any question remotely similar to &uot;Does this make me look fat?&uot; To avoid injury, one must quickly, and with conviction, shout something along the lines of &uot;nope, looks great!&uot; Hesitate, even for a moment, and you lose. It’s that simple.

I’ve also learned another simple truth, also. And read this one closely. Heck, put the newspaper a little closer to your face if you have to. Never, EVER, ask a stay at home mom when or if she plans to go back to &uot;work.&uot; There is no positive outcome to that line of questioning.

And, after watching my wife juggle the responsibility of raising three small children, I think I understand why.

A while back my wife shared an essay with me from the best selling book Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul that sheds some light on the subject. In the essay, a woman named Joan Beck outlines what she calls the job description of the &uot;Ideal Mother.&uot; See if it sounds like &uot;work&uot; to you.

For an infant, a job description for the perfect mom would read:

Wanted — Easygoing, relaxed, loving type to care for infant. Should enjoy rocking, cuddling, be able to hold baby patiently for 20-minute feedings every three or four hours without fidgeting. Light sleeper, early riser. No degree necessary. Must take all shifts, 7-day week. No vacation unless can arrange to have own mother as temporary substitute. No opportunity to advance.

A year and a half later, the ideal candidate for the job of mothering the same child would match this description:

Wanted — Athlete in top condition to safeguard tireless toddler. Needs quick reflexes, boundless energy, infinite patience. ESP helpful. Knowledge of first aid essential. Must be able to drive, cook, phone, work despite constant distractions. Workday, 15 hours. No coffee or lunch breaks unless child naps. Would consider pediatric nurse with Olympic background.

In 18 months, the same mother should meet these qualifications:

Position Open — Expert in early childhood education to provide stimulating, loving, creative, individualized learning environment for pre-schooler. Should have experience in art, music, recreation, be able to speak one foreign language. Training in linguistics, psychology and Montessori desirable. Two hours off five days a week when nursery school is in session and child is well.

Job stability improves when a child is between six and 12, and the mothers who cope most easily meet these qualifications:

Good Opportunity — For expert in recreation, camping, Indian arts, all sports. Should be able to referee. Must be willing to be den mother, room mother, block mother. Public relations skills essential. Should be able to deal effectively with teachers, PTA officers, other parents. Knowledge of sex education, new math required. Must have no objections to mud, pets, neighbor’s kids.

A mother changes occupations again when her child reaches 13 or 14 and must face up to new requirements:

Job Available — for specialist in adolescent psychology, with experience in large-quantity cooking. Tolerance is chief requirement. Slight hearing loss helpful or must provide own earplugs. Must be unflappable. Should be able to sense when presence is embarrassing and disappear.

After 18 years as a working mother, a woman is qualified for one more job:

Urgently Needed — Financier to provide money, clothes, music, wheels to collegian. No advice necessary. Position may last indefinitely. Ample time left to take income-producing work.

The essay goes on to point out three important factors not included in the job descriptions. A mother who has more than one child must usually hold down two or more of these posts simultaneously; those who handle the jobs best work themselves permanently out of a job; and there are greater rewards than anyone could ever imagine.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Todd Carpenter is publisher of The Democrat. He can be reached at 446-5172, ext. 218 or by e-mail at todd.carpenter@natchezdemocrat.com.