You have seen plenty of preseason picks and all-conference teams over the past few weeks.

So I thought I would take a different avenue in naming my All-Southeastern Conference preseason squad.

There’s nothing political about this club. I’m just looking for something unusual.

With that said and done, my all-SEC quarterback is Kentucky redshirt freshman Jared Lorenzen.

And not because he is a red-shirt freshman.

Lorenzen stands 6-foot-4 and weighs 275 pounds. Yes, he is a quarterback.

It kind of makes your quarterback sneak more like a fullback dive, doesn’t it?

The amazing thing is Lorenzen is known for kneeling on one knee at the 50-yard line and throwing the ball into the end zone.

Hal Mumme will have even more fun this year.

There’s a familiar name at running back. Ole Miss’ Deuce McAllister is on everybody’s SEC&160;preseason team, but the name Deuce makes him worthy enough of that honor.

The other running back is Arkansas sophomore Kweku Hayfrow.

Hayfrow joined the Arkansas football team last year as a sophomore, the first time he ever played the sport. He was redshirted.

Hayfrow, a native of Ghana, South Africa, has played soccer, basketball and ran track.

We couldn’t get Josh Booty on the team, so we’ll put LSU senior Abram Booty at wide receiver.

The kicker is Arkansas sophomore Thomas LaToof. LaToof transferred from Northwestern State (La.) last year.

At tight end is Arkansas junior Marcellus Poydras, who stands 6-foot-5 and weighs 255 pounds. Hey, anyone from Arkansas with a name close to Marcel has to make the team.

At wide receiver is Kentucky sophomore Bobby Blizzard. Blizzard stands 6-foot-7 and weighs 249 pounds. Media day had to be interesting in Lexington.

At offensive guard is Kentucky’s Kip Sixberry, a 6-foot-4, 317-pound sophomore.

Another guard is Georgia’s Kevin Breedlove, who stands 6-4 and weighs 310 pounds as a sophomore.

LSU junior Jason Baggett, Tennessee junior Fred Weary (another one) and Vanderbilt senior Michael Saltsman complete the offensive line.

At defensive tackle is Arkansas junior Sacha Lancaster, who stands 6-4, 285. Joining Lancaster on the line is Arkansas teammate Shannon Money. This junior stands 6-4 and weighs 310 pounds, so you can put your money on him.

Another defensive tackle is Florida senior Buck Gurley.

The defensive backfield has a couple of Mississippi State players in junior Pig Prather and senior Fred Smoot.

At linebacker is Auburn senior Courtney Rose, who stands 5-8 and weighs 196 pounds.

Rose plays what Auburn calls the whip position. Somehow a Rose whipping someone just brings this image good enough to make the team.

Ole Miss’ Eddie Strong is another linebacker.

Another cornerback is Kentucky redshirt freshman Octavious Bond. Memories of old Spider Man comic books come to mind (Dr. Octopus).

We’re short a few positions, but I’ll still put this group against anybody. At least the announcers will have a good time.

Joey Martin is sports editor of The Democrat. He can be reached by calling 446-5172 ext. 232 or at joey.martin@natchezdemocrat.com.

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