Corder: Here’s why it’s so cold

Published 12:00 am Friday, January 9, 2004

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I’ve been amusing myself this week with a little joke in regards to how quickly the weather has gone from Birkenstocks to itchy J. Crew turtlenecks since Sunday.

I’ve been telling people apparently hell really did freeze over after LSU won the national championship.

Hey, look I told you it was a &uot;little joke.&uot; I don’t see Letterman or Conan up here.

I get a couple zingers every once in a while, but let’s be honest &045; if you’re looking for kneeslappers, be a bridesmaid in Britney’s wedding.

If you were really looking for laughs, the Oklahoma offense was worth the price of admission in New Orleans at the Sugar Bowl Sunday.

This was the same collection of Sooners that averaged dropping 45.2 points per game during the regular season. The same bunch, led by their aw-shucks Heisman quarterback Jason White, was hollering all last week that they’d have 45 by the break.

And you know they were almost right; OU was one off, though. Behind one touchdown drive that consisted of an LSU offsides penalty to go 2 yards in three plays, the Sooners had 44 yards of total offensive heading into the locker room.

&uot;They are a great defense,&uot; said White in the understatement of the night. &uot;So they have got great athletes all over the field, and they executed well tonight. They outexecuted us, and we didn’t execute through most of the night.&uot;

White just about executed his team’s chances of winning (as in, ‘Stand here before this firing line, and I promise you won’t feel a thing’) seconds into the third quarter when LSU bookend Marcus Spears dropped back into the passing lane to pick off White’s second interception and rumble 20 yards, as if he was stuck in a vat of glue, for a 21-7 lead.

&uot;I didn’t even see (Spears) drop out in coverage,&uot; said White, who was incomplete on his final eight passes on two attempts to tie the game at 21. &uot;I didn’t even see him drop out, and I thought I had a wide receiver open. So I threw it.&uot;

That had to make OU fans, whose annoying &uot;Boomer Sooner&uot; chant quickly went kaboom, think twice about wanting White back for an unprecedented sixth year.

Jason, bubby, how could you miss a 6-4, 295-pound defensive end that was dressed like the king of the Rex parade with a loud gold helmet?

Up in the press box, us sloths are not privy to the exact dialogue that goes on between the sideline television reporter and the head coach. For one, we’re all banging on out laptops, and the collective sound is reminiscent of a hard rain. Secondly, you forget we all despise broadcast journalists and sideline reporters. They’re as about as useful as one-ply.

Back to the point. One of my colleagues told me that Bob Stoops told the reporter that he still had the nation’s best defense and if it hadn’t been for the bad calls his team would be up.

I’d agree &045; when hell freezes over.

Chuck Corder

is a sports writer for The Natchez Democrat. You can reach him at (601) 445-3633 or by e-mail at