EDITOR’S NOTE: The name of the subject of this story is being withheld to protect her identity.

NATCHEZ &045;&045; Every time Cindy walks through the door of the Guardian Shelter she feels like she is at home.

And that is quite a statement when you consider that Cindy, 30, said she has never before had a place to call home.

&uot;It’s really good here. Everyone treats you like family. When you come though the door, everyone is warm and comforting. You can say ‘I’m home,’&uot; she said.

The Guardian Shelter is one of the 21 agencies in the Miss-Lou supported by the United Way. It takes in women and children who have been in abusive situations, women like Cindy.

The reason Cindy said no place she has every lived has been a home is that all she has ever known is abuse. It started for her at childhood.

Cindy said she was born out of wedlock to a mother who didn’t want her &045;&045; and who told her that constantly. Her earliest memories of her mother were not gentle kisses on her forehead, but painful bites on her arms.

&uot;I remember her holding me at 2 years old and sinking her teeth into me. I remember looking up at her face at thinking that she had the meanest face in the world.&uot;

Cindy said that as bad as it was, going out into a world that scorned her because of circumstances she didn’t choose made things worse.

&uot;A mother can’t send a child into the world without teaching her to brush her teeth or teaching her to comb her hair like she did me; people will make fun of you,&uot; Cindy said.

She left home at 15, but the abuse didn’t stop. Drifting from one bad relationship to the next, Cindy had two children of her own out of wedlock.

She married at 25, to a man who was not the father of her children. He also had an abusive childhood and suffered from depression.

When it got bad, he often turned to alcohol. When he turned to alcohol, he turned violent.

&uot;He would hit me. He pushed me into the refrigerator and put his hands around my neck. My son got scared and called the police. Then he put his hands around my son’s neck,&uot; she said.

When the violence became too much for her, she would leave. She always returned, however.

&uot;I really had no place to go. I had no family and no car and I had two children. I couldn’t keep up on the bills so I would go back to him. He still had a girlfriend so I slept on the couch,&uot; she said.

Cindy said her refusal to sleep in bed with him, because of his unfaithfulness, only added to the abuse.

&uot;When he found out that I wasn’t going to share his bed, he began to threaten me and say that he was going to rape me,&uot; she said.

She didn’t want to expose her children to the situation anymore, so she went to her pastor to seek a way out. She found that way when he took her to the Guardian Shelter.

&uot;This is a really good place. Everyone treats you like family. You walk through that door with nothing, and they help you without an attitude. The workers here really care. They are heaven sent,&uot; Cindy said.

After spending a month in the shelter, Cindy said she feels better about her life than she ever has.

She never finished high school, but she is working toward a G.E.D. She is also getting a job and will soon move into her own apartment. She credits her newfound faith in Jesus and the kindness of the workers at the shelter for helping her turn her life around.

&uot;They ask us if we have plans, and if we don’t they help us make plans. They ask you, ‘Do you want to get your G.E.D.? Do you want to get a job?’ They really care,&uot; she said.

Sue Ann Webber Brown, director of Domestic Violence Programs at the Guardian Shelter, said Cindy’s story is typical of many women who come there seeking help.

&uot;For the most part when people leave here they feel more positive. Before they come here, they have very little self-confidence. Being here helps them realize that they can make good choices and decisions for themselves,&uot; she said.

Cindy said she is glad places like the shelter exist, and she hopes other women in similar situations will find the faith and strength she has had a chance to develop at the Guardian Shelter.

&uot;This is a new start for us. Everyone has a story. Everyone has to find a way. My way is Jesus. My mother said that my life had no purpose. Now I know that was wrong,&uot; she said.