Airline security is no laughing matter

Published 12:00 am Sunday, September 17, 2006

The situation was comical, to say the least.

The group of bleary-eyed Natchez and Adams County officials and myself crowded next to the airline security checkpoint in the Dubuque, Iowa, airport terminal waiting to board our plane to Chicago.

We were returning home from a two-day trip to Rentech&8217;s site for its Midwest coal-to-liquid plant, similar to the one planned for Adams County.

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As the Transportation Security Administration officers prepared to open the line to passengers, an elderly lady was wheeled to the front of the line for a security check.

For those familiar with the Red Hat Society, watching this elderly lady rise from her wheel chair in her fire red and vibrant purple outfit was amusing and brought a chuckle.

The lady was clearly traveling to meet up with her Red Hat Society friends for a fun vacation in some tourist destination.

She even brought her Chihuahua with her as a traveling companion.

But what started out as an amusing incident quickly turned into a comedy routine fit for a television sit-com.

The lady, wearing a flowing outfit, similar to those worn by Mrs. Roper on &8220;Three&8217;s Company,&8221; also sported a wide-brimmed floppy hat with a purple-dyed feather boa fastened with a decorative pin. On her feet were a pair of purple silk slippers.

If the lady had a reason to hide anything it would be easy to do so under her many, many layers of fabric.

Here we were, a group of businessmen watching security officials struggle with this 80-something woman and her Chihuahua.

First the dog was taken out from its pet carrier and the carrier sent through the x-ray machine.

Immediately, the lady set off the metal detectors on her first trip through.

She forgot to leave her walking cane behind.

With her dog in her arms, she passed through the detector again. The alarm sounded.

As officials helped the lady remove her many pieces of jewelry, I heard laughter from the back of the line.

She walked through a third time. Again the machine flashed bright red lights indicating metal somewhere around her head.

As this poor lady struggled to remove her hat, those in line behind her were beginning to take bets on what article of clothing she would have to remove next.

Finally without her shoes, belt, hat, jewelry, cane and even her dog&8217;s collar the woman was granted security clearance.

After her fifth trip through, I feared that those behind me, who had been waiting, like me, for 10 minutes, would applaud.

As security officers struggled to do their jobs that day, you could hear comments from the crowd of passengers watching the scene unfold.

&8220;What do they have to fear from an elderly lady who can barely walk?&8221;

&8220;Who is going to blow up a plane from Dubuque anyway?&8221;

Almost five years have elapsed since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001.

Since that time, it seems to me, American travelers have relaxed from those first tense days after the World Trade Center collapse.

In my travels since Sept. 11, I have frequently heard travelers make comments about the perceived Keystone Cops mentality of the Transportation Security Administration. Many point to incidents like the one in Dubuque as an example.

Even I may have grumbled a few times when taking off my shoes for a security check.

Thursday&8217;s arrests of suspected terrorists who may have planned to blow up several planes over the Atlantic using an explosive cocktail mixed on board, reminds us that terrorism is persistent. It feeds on apathy and those who let their guard down.

The situation in Dubuque may have been comical then. It isn&8217;t now.

Ben Hillyer

is the visual editor of The Natchez Democrat. He can be reached at 601-445-3552 or

ben.hillyer@natchezdemocrat.com

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