Fatigue at the polls leaves us wonderingPublished 12:01am Friday, November 9, 2012
Polls, and more polls — I was horrified to be reminded the other day by one of the major television news networks that soon we may not have any polls to look at from day to day; after all the polls over the last few months, I have personally become extremely dependent on polls. How on earth will a fellow like me make it?
Even with the election finally complete, that is just the number of votes cast, and the thing that worries me is the polls that came out differently than the actual results, since there were many polls taken to determine the accuracy of the polls being taken to determine who would win after all Americans went to the polls, you see?
Hopefully we can continue with polling in order to see if the results of the election are accurate.
And then, of course, we will need a poll, furthermore, to decide if most Americans are in favor of taking such a poll, and if that poll comes out positive, then we will then have to put it up against the other various polls that came out negative and in the end we can continue to say that the polling process satisfied our nerves and vindicated this election.
One who has little experience with democracy may observe America and determine that we have already had this election, several times, actually, numerous or even many times over the past few months; we just keep on having it through the polls over and over and over until, well, by golly, until we get a poll we like.
And, there is always some poll some place that will give an edge to my candidate, or maybe even two or three or 10 or 16 polls that may give several edges to my candidate on a variety of different subjects.
However, I’ve been told that various other polls have indicated that the American people do not like to be bothered by such small and insignificant polls focusing on the various singular aspects of the candidates, or at least that is what polls seem to indicate.
Other polls, however, clearly indicate that to know the truth on that subject we absolutely must have more polling, and by heavens, maybe we must!
Polling must be taken to ensure the accuracy of polls that have been taken to determine the necessity of such polls.
In the end, Americans all, or so I have been told, are a bit, well, yes, ‘Polish’ (sorry about that!).
At any rate, with so many polls guiding us in this election year to the, well to the, uhhh, to the p…p…, well, to the voting precincts, there was no need for us to take any more time splitting polls, or poles, whatever; we just needed to go vote.
Or, should we just have let the polls take care of it for us?
After all, as a result of the polls taken on the polls that were taken to determine the legitimacy of the other polls which had previously been taken to make sure all the other polls were in check with all the previous polls, from the oldest polls to the newest polls, maybe the polls might just in the end, somehow, give us a better estimation of who the winner was to be in the election than, by golly, the votes themselves.
Still, it was right to vote anyway, right?
After all, polls that have been taken for many years indicate that Americans prefer voting to polls.
Wait a minute, does that sound right?
A. Holmes Sturgeon III